so i spent the day washing clothes at my parents’ house. this means i spent a lot of time with sister #4. it’s been a long time since she and i have hung out together. with the wedding and stuff, we’ve seen a lot of each other but haven’t really spent anytime, just she and [...]

if you haven’t read mcsweeney’s lately, go read What 100 People, Real and Fake, Believe About Dolores, it’s totally engrossing and funny at the same time.

hi honeys, i am home. and guess what?? it’s not raining in the bathroom or hallway anymore. yay! of course, there are still bowls of stagnant, rusty brown water hanging out. but at least i don’t have to shower whenever i need to go pee.
i stopped at the video store (hollywood video, i can’t go [...]

it’s raining in my bathroom.
water is dripping from the fan in the ceiling and from the ceiling itself. this sucks. my apartment people aren’t too johnny on the spot when it comes to repairs. when my heat went out last christmas, it took them an entire week to fix it. nothing like living in minnesota [...]

a bottle of merlot, foods with lots of cheese and garlic and giggly girlie talk is the cure for what ails you. favorite conversation of the night:
“yeah, this one guy was killed by a moose.”
“are the moose aggressive?”
“did you just ask if the moose are aggressive?”
“well yeah, i was wondering if the moose attacked the [...]

wahoo!!! the new jeanette winterson book is on it’s way to my place of employment. i am so excited i could pee my pants. i love, love, love ms. winterson. of course, i cannot read it until i finish up infinite jest and neal pollacks anthology. but i am still excited as all get out. [...]

hello! the recovery time took a bit longer than i expected. i was up for about 22-23 hours saturday/sunday. i couldn’t put a coherent sentence together. i spent much time bemoaning my aching thighs and getting roped into watching the minnesota vikings become the ONLY undefeated team in the NFL (take that you st.louis boy).
so, [...]

mmm, i really like bluishorange. i really, really like it. she’s smart and she quotes soul coughing, so you gotta dig that.
i don’t have to work today, even though my friends from work called at 8:30. our boss had a baby girl yesterday. cute! i think i am gonna take a nap and will fill [...]

tonight, i am so alone and lonely, i think my heart is breaking. it doesn’t help that i am about waist-deep in self-pity or that i had just enough to drink to make me tired and crabby.
what i can tell you is that i would have given everything i own to have one person, just [...]

“this is the prior lake police department,” the voice on the other end of the line said when the phone rang at 4:30 this morning.
funny how your body goes on auto-pilot when the phone rings so late/early in the morning. the phone rang and my voice sounded oddly coherent for being awakened from a dead [...]

i just spent over $160 on soft, shiny and good-smelling girlie stuff. i have no buyer’s remorse. but that might change next week when all i get to eat are ramen noodles and peanut butter. i bbq-ed for the last time today. at least, i don’t think i have to tan. i went into the [...]

the weird dreams are back! last night i dreamt that i had to break the heart of david hyde pierce (you know niles crane). i had to tell him it was the tv character, niles that i had a crush on and not him. the whole time i am doing this i am totally trying [...]

hi, i am cute tonight.
really, i am cute. i got my eyebrows done. this involved lying on a table while a cute girl rubbed good smelling stuff into my bert-like eyebrows. the she spread warm wax on my eyebrows and heartlessly ripped out the offending hairs. really, it didn’t hurt. it was nothing compared to [...]

this just in from the rather cranky celebrity judge in st.louis:
here is my ruling. all decisions are final. void where prohibited by states really just too close to canada.
contest entry : not stellar, but erin is nice. plus she lives in iowa, and really i bet a mixtape is about the best thing she has [...]

hmm. . . i think my strange dreamlife must be worrying the readers of iwilldare.com. i got this story:“Study Shows Why Your Dreams Are So Weird.” from not one, but two different individuals. i am not sure what to make of it. it’s interesting. it’s also interesting to note that i kickass at [...]