blargh. you know, i don’t get gobs and gobs of fan mail. i get enough to make my ego roughly the size of montana. so anyway, i get a enough positive reinforcement that one e-mail, from one stinky jerk shouldn’t get me down, right?
wrong!
back in march (which is eons ago in internet time) i [...]

funny things said at happy hour tonight:
“it’s not like you are sitting hungover in your cube figuring out pi to the 14th place.”
“in college there was a bar that served nothing but blatz.”
“we used to drink point beer for 89 cents a mug during happy hour. it tasted like barbie dolls.”
“i don’t balance my checkbook [...]

Ok, don’t be alarmed. Remember to breathe. . . . I think I might have the chicken pox. How sucky is this to have the chicken pox so close to your 29th birthday??
I am lead to believe that I might have the chicken pox because my chest and upper back really, really itch. Mad, crazy [...]

hello darling ones, i am gonna shamelessly beg here. i’d like all you women (and you men can read it too) reading this to go read Hawaiian Punch in Cocktail Glasses. then i’d like to discuss the column with you. i really want to know what people think about this.

do you realize it’s only 6 days until the 6th day of the 6th month, which is my birthday?

weed-wacking bumblee bee update
you will all be happy to know that i don’t have to move out of my apartment. i came home to find a dead bumble bee on my bedroom floor. i sprayed it with the scrubbing bubbles just to make sure it was really dead. then i grabbed about 34 paper towels, [...]

so, there is a reason i am still single. i am just waiting, because i want my marriage to last, right?

file this under things not to say at the sushi restaurant:
“maybe you can take it home and heat it up in the microwave.”
luckily none of the chopsticks thrown at me poked my eye out.

Ok, remember that weed-wacker sounding bug that woke me up at 6:30 this morning? Well after showering, I was toweling off I my bedroom when I heard the buzz again. Instead of running screaming from the room, I decided to investigate.
Big mistake.
The weed-wacker bug was a GIANT, fuzzy bumble bee about the size of [...]

it is with heavy heart and sad fingers i report that i just purchased merchandise from The New Cowboy Mouth.com. the things we do for our sisters. sister #4 begged for a cowboy mouth t-shirt for her birthday (also in 7 days). who am i to deny her?

darling ones, you’d better hurry! there are only 7 more days until my birthday!

for reasons i cannot explain, my body has decided that 6:30 in the morning is the perfect time to rise and shine. does this make me a morning person?
i woke up this early yesterday too, but i forced myself to go back to bed for another hour. i blame todays early rising on what i [...]

ok, the entry that was here, just a few minutes ago, well i moved it. i liked it so much i used it as my backwash column for this week. you’ll probably want to go read it. it’s interesting. it’s about independence, being alone and being a woman. go read it. you’ll dig it.

no thanks to you, darling ones, i did not make fat piles of cash at the horse races. in fact, i made no piles of cash. it seems i have lost the magic. i used to be damn good at picking the horses. now i am sorta tired and a bit sunburnt. i would pay [...]

i am a pathetic today-show junkie, i thought you all should know.
also, sister #3 is pregnant. that’s the big secret i’ve been digesting all weekend. she told me, via e-mail, on friday. can we say mixed emotions?
first and foremost i am giddy with joy for sister #3 and tony. i know how very badly they [...]