116,930 words
961 posts
365 days
51 members of the good taste club
21 raves about the replacements
6 dreams about midgets
5 designs
4 chapters in html for dummies
+ 1 man to blame

sour apple laffy taffy and diet pepsi make a decent breakfast, don’t they?
Q:How does a tree get on the world wide web? (because we all know laffy taffy comes with jokes)

i want to call into work with a bad attitude.
“hi, i’m not gonna be into work today. i have a bad attitude.”
“ok, hopefully we’ll see you tomorrow.”
why do mondays always have to blow so many donkey balls?

so i saw the monkey movie and i loved it!
i loved it because flying monkeys scare the living piss outta me. it was like i was 7 and watching the flying monkeys in the wizard of oz for the first time. well, the monkeys in planet of the apes really didn’t fly. but they bounced [...]

my desire to see the movie “planet of the apes” is more than a bit puzzling to me. i don’t like monkeys. i don’t like sci-fi movies and well. . . i’ve never seen a planet of the apes movie. but i want to see this movie so badly. i keep saying it’s because i [...]

it seems the quickest way to get the poison out of your veins is to get your ass off the couch and get sweaty. it’s worked like a charm and i feel much better now.
since i managed to get off the couch AND put on pants AND go to the grocery store AND cook dinner, [...]

Ook! I think I have poison running through my veins. At least it feels like poison.
Too much beer and dancing makes for a lump of a Jodi this fine saturday. It’s not that I’m hungover, It’s that I have poison running through my veins. I just don’t feel right. Maybe that’s what a hangover [...]

my co-workers are sufficiently worried over the midget-cheerleader dream. psychoanalization has been suggested. at least they understand the depths of my midget cheerleader fears.
in other news, all that hoowah i was complaining about yesterday . . . well i’ve been complimented on how wonderfully i presented it. yay me! i am a marketing genius.

i had the worst nightmare last night. i dreamt that sister #4 offered up my apartment as a place where a team of cheerleaders from california could stay while participating in some competition.
it all seemed ok. i could handle a gaggle of cheerleaders for the weekend. not a problem. so i’m sleeping in bed when [...]

while the matt dillon/john cusak bill is still in committee (the techdoofs are very anti-john cusack, they are fighting hard for dillon). we have come to a major decision regarding our future (we is me and the evil twin, i’m a gemini i can refer to myself as we).
we’ve decided what we want to be [...]

sister #4 lives at home with the parents. whenever we’re over there we use her laptop for whatever computerly tasks we might wish to embark on (like surfing for porn with our aunt and mom).
whitetrashaunt also lives with my parents. on alternating weekends she gets her kids. because whitetrashaunt (see surfing for porn link) [...]

i would forsake my left nipple if i didn’t have to go to work today.

my melancholy and infinite sadness spilled into my deams last night. blech! last night i dreamt about a memorial service for my cousin alan, who was 19 when he died. the dream was pretty brutal. lots of crying and sadness. oddly there was a lot of concern about lipstick too.
i think the dream was spurred [...]

maybe it’s because happy hour was cancelled.
maybe it’s because the phone only rang once tonight and it was chad from the toyota dealer.
maybe it’s because chad was the only person on the planet happy to talk to me.
maybe it’s because i haven’t done a damn thing at work all week because of meetings.
maybe it’s because [...]

if you read one thing to day, you must, must MUST read this post over at mecawilson. gah! i laughed until things flew out of my mouth. i laughed and said, “oh my god.”
also, while you’re there get a postcard i have one, if i weren’t such a lazy slug i’d go find it.
also, mr. [...]