You Are At The Archives for July, 2001

July 31st, 2001

happy anniversary!

116,930 words 961 posts 365 days 51 members of the good taste club 21 raves about the replacements 6 dreams about midgets 5 designs 4 chapters in html for dummies + 1 man to blame

July 30th, 2001

delicious and nutrituous

sour apple laffy taffy and diet pepsi make a decent breakfast, don’t they? Q:How does a tree get on the world wide web? (because we all know laffy taffy comes with jokes)

July 30th, 2001

call me

i want to call into work with a bad attitude. “hi, i’m not gonna be into work today. i have a bad attitude.” “ok, hopefully we’ll see you tomorrow.” why do mondays always have to blow so many donkey balls?

July 29th, 2001

and monkeys might fly out of my ass

so i saw the monkey movie and i loved it! i loved it because flying monkeys scare the living piss outta me. it was like i was 7 and watching the flying monkeys in the wizard of oz for the first time. well, the monkeys in planet of the apes really didn’t fly. but they [...]

July 29th, 2001

monkey shines

my desire to see the movie “planet of the apes” is more than a bit puzzling to me. i don’t like monkeys. i don’t like sci-fi movies and well. . . i’ve never seen a planet of the apes movie. but i want to see this movie so badly. i keep saying it’s because i [...]

July 28th, 2001

the poison years

it seems the quickest way to get the poison out of your veins is to get your ass off the couch and get sweaty. it’s worked like a charm and i feel much better now. since i managed to get off the couch AND put on pants AND go to the grocery store AND cook [...]

July 28th, 2001

hips shake to the band for old time sake

Ook! I think I have poison running through my veins. At least it feels like poison. Too much beer and dancing makes for a lump of a Jodi this fine saturday. It’s not that I’m hungover, It’s that I have poison running through my veins. I just don’t feel right. Maybe that’s what a hangover [...]

July 27th, 2001

gratification

my co-workers are sufficiently worried over the midget-cheerleader dream. psychoanalization has been suggested. at least they understand the depths of my midget cheerleader fears. in other news, all that hoowah i was complaining about yesterday . . . well i’ve been complimented on how wonderfully i presented it. yay me! i am a marketing genius.

July 27th, 2001

midget cheerleaders and made for tv movies

i had the worst nightmare last night. i dreamt that sister #4 offered up my apartment as a place where a team of cheerleaders from california could stay while participating in some competition. it all seemed ok. i could handle a gaggle of cheerleaders for the weekend. not a problem. so i’m sleeping in bed [...]

July 26th, 2001

still in committee

while the matt dillon/john cusak bill is still in committee (the techdoofs are very anti-john cusack, they are fighting hard for dillon). we have come to a major decision regarding our future (we is me and the evil twin, i’m a gemini i can refer to myself as we). we’ve decided what we want to [...]

July 26th, 2001

from the sister files

sister #4 lives at home with the parents. whenever we’re over there we use her laptop for whatever computerly tasks we might wish to embark on (like surfing for porn with our aunt and mom). whitetrashaunt also lives with my parents. on alternating weekends she gets her kids. because whitetrashaunt (see surfing for porn link) [...]

July 26th, 2001

left nipple

i would forsake my left nipple if i didn’t have to go to work today.

July 26th, 2001

spilled into the night

my melancholy and infinite sadness spilled into my deams last night. blech! last night i dreamt about a memorial service for my cousin alan, who was 19 when he died. the dream was pretty brutal. lots of crying and sadness. oddly there was a lot of concern about lipstick too. i think the dream was [...]

July 25th, 2001

i’d go out tonight, but i haven’t got a stich to wear

maybe it’s because happy hour was cancelled. maybe it’s because the phone only rang once tonight and it was chad from the toyota dealer. maybe it’s because chad was the only person on the planet happy to talk to me. maybe it’s because i haven’t done a damn thing at work all week because of [...]

July 25th, 2001

mayor assbust

if you read one thing to day, you must, must MUST read this post over at mecawilson. gah! i laughed until things flew out of my mouth. i laughed and said, “oh my god.” also, while you’re there get a postcard i have one, if i weren’t such a lazy slug i’d go find it. [...]