i’ve been chatting with a friend/co-worker who is also in beautiful robert’s class with me:
me: i wonder if she will show next week
me: how much you wanna bet she bails?
him: I was wondering
him: even money
him: too bad really
me: i just can’t believe she was that sensitive
him: she just seems uncomfortable
me: it really stunned me
him: yeah. [...]

for shalanis:
yes, i did take that picture at the top of the page. it was a mess still life on my desk, that just happened to catch my eye. the pen and the sunglasses are mine. underneath is my scribbling of Molly Bloom’s Speech from James Joyce’s Ulysses. i was enraptured with the speech because [...]

for class tonight we had to read Michael Cunningham’s “Mister Brother” (which, incidentally, you too can read if you follow that link).
at one point in the story Mister Brother says, “Out, faggot.”
in discussing the story we talked about that line, because as it turns out Mister Brother’s brother is gay.
i said the line outloud [...]

do you miss me when i’m gone?
i feel like a missing person who nobody noticed was missing. i vanished right before everyone’s eyes. it’s really quite sad when you think about it.
i’m hoping my 93rd wind comes before i have to go to class.

City Lights turns 50, it’s a great read.

tonight, the sleep will come. i will thumb wrestle it into submission, mostly because my ass is tired, mostly because i just got done working (albeit the past 3 hours have been from home).
that is all.

*sigh*

the sleep and i, again we are fighting. i don’t know what the problem is. i did everything that would have kept me up. talked to the TTHM, got a lot of work done, masturbated and still my eyes, they won’t shut.
i’d make tomorrow the day of no diet cokes, but that’s just not [...]

i’m in the middle fo watch Frida. yowza! this movie is hot. and it’s beautiful, that bus crash scene, that alone deserved an oscar. also, i think i want to have sex with salma hayek. curses! why can’t i be a fiery mexican painter instead of a boring minnesota writer?

he says everything is ok, that he’s just going to be really super busy for a month or so.
i call it dismissal. he calls it really busy. even at my most busy, i don’t go incommunicado. you know?
now all i need is for the TTHM to stop calling and for darling jason to ignore [...]

dear wendy,
i’m terrible with thank you notes. just ask bonny. she’s sent me roughly a gozillion cool cds and i always forget to send her a thank you note.
but i wanted to tell you that i got the happy day after the ides of september gift and it made me cry. i just wept with [...]

1. seven o’clock comes pretty damn fast when you’re still awake at 3 a.m.
2. considering that, i’m really quite awake and chipper.
3. you gotta a love a meeting where you can say, “you know, i’m trying really hard to care about this, and i just can’t.” which prompted the bossman to say, ‘oh jodi!’
4. i [...]

Jake has reminded me that it’s Banned Books week. to think, i almost forgot. go read a banned book or something. i’ve read quite a few myself. hell, just turn off the tv and read a book, banned or otherwise.

did you know there’s a Dare Eau de Parfum Spray? yeah, i think you should get it for me too. this way i could smell like i will dare, or i’ll smell like i dared. regardless, i’ll just smell i’m sure.

not even the highly-amusing The Subject Steve can keep me occupied long enough for my brain to run down and for sleep to visit. clearly, the tragic exhaustion that has plagued me for the past week or so has dissipated. now it’s midnight and i’m wide awake. ’tis a shame.
i’m arguing with myself, i think [...]