it’s so cold in here that i have goosebumps on all my 2000 parts. i’m thinking of burning my insurance forms and computer manuals in an attempt to generate enough heat to thaw the tip of my poor, poor goosebumped nose. what i really need to do is find my bob cratchet gloves, the ones [...]

i’ve decided that sometime in the future i would very much like to marry A.C. Newman. i hope he’s not midgety short. he looks tall. but then everyone looks tall on the internet.

last night i dreamt my life was a soap opera. or something close to it. for some reason i was dating opie from the bowling alley. only opie was played by someone else and not the actual opie. my freind seamus was in the dream and so was mark hagan a boy i went to [...]

tonight, Robin wrote about her need for a gay brother-in-law. this reminded me of a story sister #2 told saturday night about jaycie and max.
apparently the kidlings were talking about what they wanted to be when they grow up. max has moved on from zookeeper/superhero to a fire fighter and/or police officer. jaycie [...]

on saturday we had our annual chromey v. chromey bowl-o-rama at the bowling alley. for the second year in a row, a member of the d. chromey (that’d be us) took home the trophy. this year tony baloney, sister #3’s husband, was the big winner, kicking the asses of the j. chromey family (it’s always [...]

i’ve been subsisting on cheese and crackers for the last four days. i have issues with thanksgiving turkey. issues that involve much vomit produced by my own body the friday after thanksgiving. this post-thanksgiving vomitting became a holiday tradition for like five years. then i decided that maybe i should stop eating the turkey and [...]

• cleaning my apartment
• getting my portfolio together
• writing the next best american short story, due in class on december 9th
• staying conscious for more than 6 hours in a row, god i love napping
• doing any laundry, grocery shopping, or christmas shopping
• worrying about work
• worrying about being lonely
• actually being lonely
so what did [...]

When your blessings are so numerous you cannot even begin to count them and give thanks.

i just got a hysterical phonecall from sister #4.
“jodi?” she asked.
“yes,” i said.
“i have something to tell you.” her voice was shaking and i panicked. do i pretend to be surprised? do i tell her i’ve known for a week? what to do. what to do. i hate lying, but i didn’t want to rain [...]

allegedly the proposal will be taking place tomorrow morning in private. it seems no way jose wanted to do some sort of weird pre-thanksgiving breakfast thing at sister #2’s house so mamala could be there (she has to work tomorrow afternoon). this suggestion aroused a giant roar of discontent amongst the sister club. because, while [...]

i’ve been dreaming all sorts of crazy things this week, probably because i’ve been sleeping like a normal person. oh and taking naps. god i love not working. if you hate dream entries, skip it.

everynight, without fail, before i go to sleep i do some reading. now that i’ve finished the eggers’ book, i’m trying to finish up this year’s best american. don’t be fooled, reading in bed is not my new favorite thing. no, that’s just a the set up for my new favorite thing.
my new favorite thing [...]

i feel like the left side of my face is trying to melt off my skull. that’s some wicked weird shit, that novocaine. also, my tongue feels like it weighs roughly 100 pounds, and it’s just sitting in my mouth being annoying. it doesn’t help that i’m freaking hungry as hell. dr. dentistlady told me [...]

if i would have known that picking up my mom and bringing her to the auto shop was going to be a two hour adventure, i’d have packed a lunch and wore socks. i should have known just picking her up and dropping her off and home without pants in a matter of 10 minutes [...]

i’m at the point during the annual clean-a-thon where i think it would just be easier to move than to clean this crap. how can one single woman have so much garbage? really? also it is now your job to breka my fingers should i ever buy another pen and/or journal. i have unearthed no [...]