driving home from work, i was so engrossed in a particularly vivid sex fantasy that i totally missed my turn and ended up in a heretofore unknown part of bloomington. and the only thing that can harsh the buzz of a particularly vivid sex fantasy is being trapped inside of bloomington in rush hour. if [...]
“are you guys wearing the same shoes?” i asked seamus and kappa. “no,” seamus said. “i’m wearing the bonnie approved sandals. she was morally opposed to mantoes in the office.” “i think she was just morally opposed to mantoes in general,” i said. “yeah,” kappa said, looking down at this exposed toes. “i think girltoes [...]
“look, your nose is red from laughing so hard,” kappa said. “it is not,” i said. “it’s red with the effort it takes to produce a vesuvian-like zit that is causing even more pain than my breasts are at the moment.” “ok, rudolph,” he said. “sorry i mentioned it.”
do you remember that scene in Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing where Peter Hatcher is talking about how much he loves fruity fruit punch and how if you split open his veins you’d probably find them filled with seven fruit juciy flavors? (it’s the scene where he drank so much of it at a [...]
believe it or not, i’m not talking about masturbation. no instead i’m talking about my absolute brand-new favorite thing to do (and i say this like i do it all the time but i don’t (again not talking about masturabtion because i totally do that all the time), in fact i just discovered about 10 [...]
since i had the big creative breakthrough this afternoon, i decide to cater to my every whim tonight. so far that has included a divine dinner featuring veggie burgers, baked potatoes, and asparagus, washed down with chocolate milk. then there was some sitting around in the underpants reading an old issue of the The New [...]
i just had a creative breakthrough of epic proportions here at work and now all i want to do is smoke a cigarette and then roll over and go to sleep. i am totally spent and feel like jelly. this is only one of those ideas/projects that has been lodged in the back of my [...]
con: 8:15 in the a.m. mandatory all company meetings pro: seamus bringing in sweet delicious yummy coffee con: talking to not one but two people on the phone before 10 pro: i have a good idea for the pressing project plaguing my mind con: the flesh eating virus currently taking residence on my face in [...]
so i’m sitting here breaking the cardinal rule of jodi (no computers in bed) and paco’s here with me. he was rubbing himself against me, like he always does, because he’s he neediest cat in the world, when i noticed something new. it looked like a weird extended nipple by his butt. however, there had [...]
i just went from zero to superbitchy in like 45 seconds. i’m not kidding. it was probably the weirdest thing i’ve ever felt in my own psyche. i was just sitting here minding my own business, looking at some award-winning ad campaigns on the web and then KAPOW! superbitch took over. i was listening as [...]
am the only one who finds it odd that the men who provided the voice for Tigger and voice of Piglet died within a day of each other? it’s weird to see those headlines stacked on each other in the Times Obit section.
so i had a weekend, though it doesn’t feel like it. i’ve discovered that the one thing i simply cannot do anymore is stay up until 4 a.m. i guess i’m just one of those people who needs to be in bed by 3 a.m. at the very latest. four a.m. just wrecks me for [...]
ok, the random nutter butter text messager has been unconvered. it was wendy!. and now i’m really pissed that she didn’t buy me any damn nutter butters.
“will you stop rubbing your ass against me.” “must you lick yourself while laying on my feet.” “can’t we live in harmony?” “she asked me if we could be friends and i said oh honeybaby that’s a dead end, you know it.”
so mystery text messager strikes again. mystery messager: “No, but i thought about you in the grocery store – that should count for something.” me: “thoughts are nice, but don’t put nutter butters in my tummy.” the number is local and looks familiar and i thought perhaps it would be NBFB, but it’s not. because [...]
MN Reads PW.net
