Jun 30 2005

tales of a 27th grade nothing

do you remember that scene in Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing where Peter Hatcher is talking about how much he loves fruity fruit punch and how if you split open his veins you’d probably find them filled with seven fruit juciy flavors? (it’s the scene where he drank so much of it at a school party that he really, really has to pee, but Fudge or his mom or something is in the bathroom so he pees in a potted plant).

anyway, if you split open my veins, i’m sure you’d find them full of almonds, chocolate covered raisins, and probably the song “Rollerskate Skinny” by Olds 97.

in other news, i’m about ready to perform a double masectomy on myself. never in my life have i had such painful breasts. i mean generally i’m a big fan of them, probably their biggeset fan. but this month if someone even looks at them they hurt. and that’s not any kind of fun at all.

Tags: Books, bra, Judy Blume, Olds 97

Posted on Thu, 30 June 2005 at 2:18 pm

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practice makes perfect or the reign of decadence continues and then i beat him about the head and neck with a big, heavy stapler

Possibly related:

but you were with another man

pud

hello

This post has 7 comments. Add your own.

UH

I thought I was their biggest fan. Sorry to hear they’re causing you grief.
30 Jun 05 at 4:19 pm #
jodi

i’d give them to you but i’m sure i’d miss them after awhile.

i’m going to go home and self-medicate and it will all be better after a nap.
30 Jun 05 at 4:30 pm #
PeeWee

Well, they don’t call you Chesty LaRue for nothing.
My best friend has leetle boobies, and when she complains of breast tenderness, we just tell her to take half an aspirin and shut up.
30 Jun 05 at 4:47 pm #
UH

At least you don’t tell her to take a St. Joseph’s childrens’ chewable.

That would just be harsh.
30 Jun 05 at 5:00 pm #
Judy Blume

That was “Superfudge,” not “Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing.”
30 Jun 05 at 6:30 pm #
PeeWee

children’s chewable…duly noted. hee hee!
30 Jun 05 at 8:59 pm #
Kristy

It was Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing…..and I recall fondly.
05 Jul 05 at 12:06 am #

Things I Want to Tell You

Interview #2 at place I would enjoy working at went really well. I'm pretty pumped. [+]

Can I get an AMEN! This woman responds to the Jezebel Hullabaloo the way I wish I could have, had I not been blacking out with the rage. I agree that drinking a lot and having a lot of sex with different men is not feminism. It might be your lifestyle choice and a lot of fun -- go you, but it has nothing at all to do with being a feminist. I think once I simmer down a bit, I will chalk up the whole Hullabaloo to a few drunk 20something girls being stupid and naive, because, that's what 20something girls do. We've all done it, and not to get all sage woman of the earth, but something changes for women when they turn 30. I don't know what it is, I cannot define it, but other woman will agree 30 is a magical age where suddenly you seem more yourself, you think before you speak, you look back at your 20something self and realize what an idiot you were, but you still love that girl. I'm just hoping these Jezebel-girls will be so kind to their 20something selves when they look back at how absolutely foolish they were. {via fimoculous, whose comments are all men discussing the issue which makes me a little sad}. [+]

I had avoided the whole Jezebel hullabaloo until this morning when I was reading Mediation's thoughts on the nonsense. I followed his links to the Metafilter discussion and it was after watching the video there that I blacked out from sheer rage. I'm so angry I can't even write anything coherent. [+]

I just applied for a for reals job for the first time since 2000 (three fors in one sentence, go me). I feel a little like I'm going to barf. I forgot how nerve-wracking it is to want something like this. [+]

"Never mind that while he was on my ass about being in lust with a celebrity who lives in France and has two children with a French model, Greg was in love with a girl from, you know, like, down the street." Peabo cracks me up. [+]

I am celebrating my independence by sitting around in my pajamas until noon. [+]

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