five years ago tonight, iwilldare.com blinked into existence. oddly enough, the first post quotes a replacements’ lyric. or at least i always identify it as a replacements’ lyric. i started iwilldare.com because my friend orangetim, whom i ‘met’ through a soul coughing newsgroup, told me it was cool. sadly, i think tim has given up [...]

this week’s This American Life is a rerun about Family Legends. it’s about the stories families tell over and over that become legend. sort of like the story the sister club tells about our mom pounding on the door of McDonald’s because it was closed though it was allegedly supposed to be open, and how [...]

laziness is definitely my strong suit, but today, today i was so lazy that i feel a little ashamed. here was my schedule.
9:30 – 10:30: wake up, check e-mail, listen to NPR
10:30 – 11:30: lay in bed reading john irving, practice
11:30 – 12:30: check e-mail, read ask metafilter, eat lunch, fill out new calendar
12:30 – [...]

it’s official. i have hit the wall. i’m washed up and out. i think it’s the past three weeks of 50-60 hour work weeks combined with not-relaxing weekends. i’m done. i need to crawl into bed and sleep for 100 years and then be awakened by a kiss from prince charming.
i can’t wait to [...]

last night the sister club ventured out to Canterbury Downs in Shakopee to watch the horse races and take advantage of $1 night. we usually only make it out to the races once a year, but i guess we’re going next week too for Uncle Wayne’s birthday.
max, jaycie, and i tried to recreate the [...]

earlier this week, sister #2 and i were chatting on the phone. i had just called her because our weird cousin Keith had randomly knocked on my door (more on that later).
after we were done dishing about the fam, bridezilla, and Assasination Vacation by Sarah Vowell we started talking about our web sites. i guess [...]

one of the big priorities in my life is to remain on the very cutting edge of confectionary technology. i take this seriously and try to remain abreast of the latest news from candyland.
i’ll have you know that tonight i tried The Newest M&M in town. yes, the Mega M&M has made it’s way [...]

roland has been released into the tender loving hands of DHL. if i had an iPod at the moment i would listen most unironically to the that cheezy sting song and perhaps shed a little tear and say a little prayer.
but i don’t have an iPod because i am an iPodless loser. yes, it is [...]

first of all, i don’t know how y’all without iPods do this listening to music nonsense. CDs? Are you kidding me?
second of all, when i’m not so busy i totally have to write about the creepy knock on the door last night and the 2 hour phone call that resulted from the knock.
third of [...]

Maureen Dowd’s homage to her mother A Woman Who Found a Way to Write, made me cry.

if i had Roland here and in good working condition, i’d be listening to “bastards of young” by the replacements so loud that your ears would be bleeding. “the ones that love us least are the ones we’ll die to please” indeed.

i gotta say one thing for apple, they’re fast. they sent a tiny cardboard sarcophagus for me to lovingly place Roland for his long, dark journey into California. tonight i will have a small ceremony in his honor. we will play lucinda william’s “Just Want to See You So Bad” in honor of his first [...]

seamus and al, the cutest girl on earth™ peeped around the wall to my cell.
“how are you?” al asked.
“it’s 9:16,” i said. “and i’m already pissed off.”
“oh no! i was going to use you to be my voice of reason because i’m about to get incredibly bitchy.”
“great,” i said, and then gave my monitor the [...]

“what do you need the phone for josie?” a man yelled
“i need to fucking call people so i need the fucking phone,” some woman i assume to be josie screamed.
sound of phone crashing into the bitches er, bushes (thanks wolf).
“she’s the weirdest fucking bitch i ever fucking met,” the man muttered to himself, loud enough [...]

i have finally mastered the art, while sitting here working in my underpants, of discerning by touch alone which of the chocolate cover gobs in my fancy pants Pampered Chef bowls are chocolate covered raisins and which are chocolate covered peanuts. this was a necessary skill to develop, because i don’t like the peanut/almond combination [...]