pity the neighbors. i’m sitting on the couch listening to Roland II and belting out St. Paul Westerberg’s “Born for Me” as if my life depended on it. i can’t resist singing the part that goes:
i can’t bear to, try and share you . . .when you forget me, then you late me, fade away, [...]

how do i explain to mom why this is on my amazon wishlist. do you think she’ll understand? and more importantly you think i can get someone to buy it for me (of coruse i stole this from kottke because i don’t find links).

three steps to being a calm, cool, in control modern young woman in charge of her destiny
1. eat cold, greasy thai take-out right from the carton
2. wash it down with an ice cold beer (leinie’s honeyweiss)
3. all the while supporting your imaginary boyfriend by ordering & downloading the new New Pornographers album on iTunes*

wow. i think i just had a major anxiety attack. i don’t think i’ve ever had one before. it was either that or a heartattack, and i know you don’t recover from those that quickly.
my chest is still a bit fluttery, but i’m trying to take deep breaths to calm myself down. the only problem [...]

OH MY GOD I AM BUYING A HOUSE!
this realization just kicked me in the face.
what in the hell am i thinking?

i began my descent into hell around 10:40 a.m. it got even hellier by around noon. when people die and go to hell, i’m sure they spend a lot of time in long meetings about big projects that have to be done by friday. projects they’ve already worked on and thought were nearly complete only [...]

way back when we used to be cool, Mel, ChiliD, and I used to play the island game. this was a game where you got to populate some tropical island with six to ten people you’d like to spend a lot of intimate time with. we had great gobs of fun playing the game, because [...]

i’m wearing old one-wired orangey today. i didn’t have the time or emotional fortitude to deal with anything else. i was up until 3:30 this morning talking on the phone with The Reporter — making any sort of morning decision making impossible.
there’s so much more i need to say, but i can’t seem to [...]

ok, so here’s the first book i ever wrote. it’s complete and unabridged for your reading pleasure.
also, you can find out why i never had a single date in high school. i am sure you will find it quite enlightening.
and just wait, there’s more!

• good vibrations guide to the g-spot
• Sweet Valley Twins #21, Left Behind
• 45 record of Grandpaboy (aka Paul Westerberg) I Want My Money Back/Undone
• picture of the outlaw (upon the discovery of which i said ‘you lying bastard’ and then tore the picture into itty bitty pieces)
• green chuck taylor low-tops that don’t belong [...]

about 1000 years ago (the last time i cleaned my closets) i made a post about cleaning the closets (and apparently i make a lot of damn posts about closets, because i can’t find the damn thing. anyway, the NBFB told me to block off a day for each closet. i scoffed at his advice. [...]

i vowed to myself that tomorrow i will clean out both the closets. thankfully there are only two. i think i’d rather have my wisdom teeth pulled again than clean out the closets — there are memories lurking in those closets. i know it and i’m a little afraid of what will be stirred up.
in [...]

the urge to celebrate each filled box is irresistible. i feel like someone should be rewarding me for this. i hate, hate hate h-a-t-e packing. it’s so depressing to see your life fit into an army of cardboard boxes. it’s depressing to see your place in a weird sort of organized disarray. plus, i think [...]

the tally thus far: 11 boxes.
sounds impressive, but it is not. seven of those boxes are filled with CDs. did you know that doc martens boxes are perfect for CD packing? now you know. eleven boxes and i still have eight shelves worth of books to pack up. i haven’t tackled any closets yet either.
this [...]

the mourning continues. today we’ve tried sheer purple. it looks divine but feels a little like a medieval torture device. while this bra makes my breasts look totally attractive, it makes me feel really on display. like i’m marching around saying “hey, here are my nipple, please look at them.”
in other news i watched “Win [...]