at this point my biological clock made such a racket that max and jaycie thought that perhaps the tornado sirens were going off.

except when the rain came along it didn’t wash the spider out, no it washed the nolie out.

*that’s a mike doughty reference that you probably aren’t gonna get, but that i could not resist.

ok, as if monkeys aren’t hard enough to resist, how do you resist a baby dressed up as a monkey? if i could have i would have eaten little liam right up!

i’m so down in the dumps and frowny today that even new books couldn’t cheer me up. not even the imported tasty belgian chocolates that seamus brought in could bring a geniune smile to my face. though, i can tell you, i have plastered on enough fake smiles today that my cheeks hurt. i’m sad [...]

“it seems everyone has a reality show now,” i said.
“everyone does,” mel said.
“i don’t,” i said. “which is why i have a blog.”

i have to get a passport. yes, i’m 33 years old and i don’t have a passport. but the time has come, i’ll be taking an out of the country business trip coming up here pretty soon. so i’m tooling about online and i find the online passport form that you can fill out, print [...]

the cookie/vagina/sex connection continues to wreck havoc on my psyche and in my life. i was just reading a comment by ‘the cookie monster’ when it all came flooding back to me, my college nickname. the horror!
when i was in college i got myself the nickname cookie chromey. because my friend meathead johnson thought it [...]

whenever i sit on a conferance call, wearing my time-life operator headset, i like to sit very still and see if i can’t feel myself disappear. it’s like i can feel my arms start to tingle and float away in teeny tiny nano-sized pieces. it’s probably boredom/frustration induced psychosis of some sort.

this should definitely be filed under ‘you learn something new everyday.’ except what i have learned has shattered my world view and ruined my between meal snacks. allegedly, according to very reliable source, cookie is a slang term. it does not mean a yummy baked good filled with chocolate, peanut butter or some other delight. [...]

“who is it?” max asked, when sister #2 called him to the phone.
“it’s your girlfriend.” sister #2 said.
“who is this?” he asked into the phone.
“it’s aunt jodi,” i said.
“oh hi aunt jodi, what do you want?”
“to wish you a happy birthday.”
“my birthday was yesterday.”
“i know. i called. where were you?”
“i was at chuck e. [...]

riddle me this. why is it so damn charming when boys love love love baseball with a passion? i can’t figure it out. but i just love this trait in men. and i don’t even like baseball (though i shouldn’t judge too harshly because i’ve never been to a game).

last night in class, we workshopped a story about a digital romance between two people. the story was pretty ambitious and totally not the traditional kind of story we read a lot in class. the story was told through a series of electronic communications. i think (though i am not sure and that was one [...]

you may refer to me henceforth as virago.

hi. it’s 8:30 in the morning. i’m at work. showered, hair-doed, and everything. well not everything, i have no diet coke with lime and that is a sad, sad thing. usually i don’t even leave for work for like another 10 minutes. this is what happens when you are pretty sure you’re about to be [...]