“what are you looking at?” i asked max. “the paper,” he said. “why?” i asked. “because paper makes me worry.” “paper makes you worry?” “because everynight i come downstairs and worry about the animals being extinct.” “animals aren’t going extinct because of paper,” i said. “yuh-huh. we have to cut down more and more trees [...]
if relaxing were a sport, i’d be the MVP and heading to the all-star game. i’m really very good at vegging out. but there comes a time in every athlete’s career where they need to take a little break. your life cannot be totally made up of your sport. so after finding myself laying on [...]
if we were dating, you could have just had a delightful brunch filled with juice, eggs, potatoes, bagels, and sausage. and, if you promised to do the dishes, i’d totally let you talk me out of my pajamas for the first time in three days. see what you’re missing?
the sisterclub christmas tradition usually includes presents/brunch in the morning followed by a break where everyone goes home to nap, and then in the evening we get together for a simple dinner, wine, and games. this year there was a small break in the plan since the fabulous becker boys went to the becker house [...]
“MUST YOU SING EVERY COMMERCIAL?” apparently sister #4 had enough after i sang the “ahh push it” commercial, the ‘i want my picture took’ commercial and some lame walmart home for the holidays commercial right in a row. geez ain’t she an ebenezer?
the candy cane symbolizes the canes the shepherds carry. it is also an upside down J for Jesus, the red represents jesus’ blood and the white is symbolic of the blood being washed away. this is what he was told by brittany, who brought in a book about what the candy cane means. sister #2 [...]
i’ve spent most of the post-bowling evening listening to The Bootleg vol. 1: Commemorating 35 Years at First Avenue and reading through old, old, old iwilldare.com archives. i guess this is the time of year for reflection, so it is a bit appropriate. some of that stuff is hard to read. so hard to read [...]
as i was heading out to lunch and shop with sister #3, we got to take a good long gander at adam, the neighbor on the right. and he was a wonder to behold. yummy. ladies if you are into a rich, hot, hot, hot young thing that’s abut 5’9″, you are totally invited to [...]
VIcks� Non-Drowsy DayQuil� LiquiCaps� can totally kiss my ass. it has done nothing, i say nothing to relieve my stuffy head, sore throat, coughing, aching, fever. nothing at all. is it possible to be immune to this stuff? because i took it like an hour ago and still feel like total shit. someone’s ass must [...]
she wore a flowing swirley red coat, it was very fancy and so long that it nearly, but not quite, covered the red sweatpants she wore underneath. i started to load my merchandise onto the belt. more plates for mom, cheese, crackers, reeses peanut butter cups, dayquil, you know the usual. the old woman hobbled [...]
i guess waking up at 6 in the morning is what you get when you sleep from 6 p.m. on with a brief interlude of consciousness around 9 p.m. of course the cold is still running rampant through my body, which is making me angry. but there is no rest for the wicked. i have [...]
well i m home — pajamaed, unbraed and westerberged. of course the guy whose spleen i was about to rip out called me as i was putting on my coat. “i just got your e-mail,” he said (the one i had sent telling him i was leaving and out for TWELVE DAYS and good luck [...]
i am pissed off and crabby. sitting here sick at work is not my idea of fun. not at all. but that’s not what’s making me pissed off and crabby. oh no! what’s making me pissed off and crabby is that i’m waiting for a call from a coworker so i can finish up a [...]
despite the fact that he totally lied, the sisterclub is a in a full-on kerfuffle regarding tonight being kenny barlow’s last night. seriously. there have been phonecalls (2) and a demand that someone tape it. of course, i am not above the madness. i can guarantee i’ll be bawling like the rest of them when [...]
my condition continues to degenerate. i fear that if you come looking for me tomorrow you will find me a grave woman. i’m thinking of paying someone $39 to rub vicks vapo rub on my chest and to make me some tea with honey and lime. but, before i perish from this earth struck down [...]
MN Reads PW.net
