You Are At The Archives for May, 2006

May 31st, 2006

The unmistakable itch for a new tattoo

Sister #2 keeps talking about how she’s going to get another tattoo when her friend Burgerboy comes up for a visit. And, I think it was PeeWee who left a comment about how I should get a 666 tattoo. Ever since then I’ve had the overwhelming desire to get some more ink. It is an [...]

May 31st, 2006

You won’t find any hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia here

It’s a mere 6 days until 06.06.06 which is my birthday! The only thing that would make this birthday cooler is if I was 6’6″ and turning 36. Sadly I am only 6’5″ and soon to be 34. I guess you can’t have everything. Incidentally, hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia is a fear of the number 666. Imagine, disliking [...]

May 31st, 2006

Summer is doing something to me

The song I woke up singing today was Beck’s “Loser.” You can’t write if you can’t relate Trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate And my time is a piece of wax fallin’ on a termite who’s chokin’ on the splinters This is really apropos of nothing, but interesting considering [...]

May 30th, 2006

Three reasons Sister #4 and I make lousy roommates

1. This weekend when we were driving back from Sister #3′s house, she was flipping through the radio and had the choice between: a. Some stupid Alanis song b. Tempted by Squeeze c. That “baby it’s 3 a.m. I must be lonely” song by Matchbox 20 and she chose Matchbox 20. 2. She thought “Almost [...]

May 30th, 2006

Heed the Omen, 06.06.06 is nigh

Since the original plans for my birthday on 06.06.06 (which is in one week, get thee to Amazon pronto) all went to shit, I’m thinking I might go check out the The Omen on that, the most special of birthdays. I think it’d be fun to see all the mark of the beast and 666 [...]

May 30th, 2006

This is but one, one reason I so desire the sweet sweet love making stylings of Mike Doughty

Apparently, Mr. Doughty & I are watching the same Heavy Metal programs on VH1. Last week I stunned Al, the cutest girl on earth™ and Seamus by announcing that not only was Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man” the #1Heavy Metal video of all time, but back in like 1973 Ozzy was a babe. To which Seamus [...]

May 29th, 2006

Living Cartoon Profile No. 6 (if I were a character in JPod)

Yeah, so I loved JPod with a passion. The novel’s characters all work for a software company and do stupid things, just like me! So I’ve decided to insert myself into the novel, doing many of the stupid time-wasters they do. Name: Jodi Chromey Non-work e-names: jodichromeysupergenius; jodi, queen of the underground; jodi@iwilldare.com; geminimat Preferred [...]

May 29th, 2006

Apparently I haven’t got a stitch to wear

For the last three nights in a row, I’ve dreamt that I was incredibly late for some event because I couldn’t decide what to wear. Dream #1 featured my friend Jags and I attending my company’s golf outing, only we were like 3 hours late because I couldn’t find the proper golfing shirt. I dismissed [...]

May 28th, 2006

things i did over this long memorial day weekend

• fixed the air conditioner • napped • babysat the fabulous becker boys • hung out with my mom & dad • finished JPod and started Fahrenheit 451 &bull got drunk and cried over “The Truth About Cats & Dogs” (i am currently doing this one) • grocery shopped • did i mention fixing the [...]

May 27th, 2006

kevin guilefoile’s cast of shadows

I’ve just added Kevin Guilfoile’s Cast of Shadowto my wishlist because of his Booknotes entry on Largeheartedboy. You should totally buy it for my birthday.

May 25th, 2006

Answers to implied Google search questions

01. Liz Phair sings “Why Can’t I Breathe Whenever I think about you.” 02. I am not sure if briefs can hide erections 03. 06.06.06 is the day where we will all rejoice and celebrate my birth 04. Mr. Wilson should probably stop looking at 8th grade boobies . A giraffe’s tongue is 18 to [...]

May 24th, 2006

You never act the way you should, but I like it

Since I’m a big ol’ baby and I’m much too busy to run home to get Kathleen Turner Overdrive, the Wolfdoggy Dogg has let me listen to his MP3 stream through some sort of Willy-Wonkaesque magic I cannot even begin to understand. I am a demanding listener (I’m a demanding lover, reader, and well person [...]

May 24th, 2006

If you could see me now, I’d be wearing the sad iPod face

It just came to my attention as I was frantically tossing the contents of my bag onto the floor of my cube, I forgot Kathleen Turner Overdrive at home. How could I do that? I am seriously off now. How can I be expected to perform my creative propaganda writing without having 6,398 songs at [...]

May 23rd, 2006

In an attempt to cheer myself up, I have decided to listen to each of The Replacements’ albums in chronological order, right now it’s ‘Sorry Ma’

I don’t even remember the year, but I had this totally crappy job helping my Dad clean up a restaurant late at night, after it had closed. It was my job to vaccuum the joint, while he cleaned the kitchen. The job really wasn’t that shitty, I just generally hated everyone and everything at that [...]

May 23rd, 2006

A melancholy funk from my subconcious

My slumber was filled with bad dreams last night. Nothing that I can pin down. My head is filled with fleeting images of being really sick at a Marketing meeting; being ignored at a bar; something to do with grocery shopping in the winter — just random things. But I remember waking up and thinking [...]