I pity the people who have had to drive alongside of me the past week or so. I am sure, were they to look over at the tall girl in the ruby-red truck they’d have thought something was seriously wrong, and with good reason.
I’ve been listening to The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks and it mostly made me want to vomit all the time. In fact my urge to vomit was so real and visceral that I would often make gagging noises while sticking out my tongue at Sparks’ predictable and treacley prose. I rolled my eyes so much I was afraid they’d get stuck in some goofy position.
Seriously this is the worst book I have ever read/listened to/witnessed. Even worse than the shitty, shitty Secret Life of Bees. I think. When you get to this level of abject shittness it’s really hard to judge that which is the shittiest.
I didn’t want to read The Wedding. It’s a bookclub pick and I even suggested to Sister #2 that I was not going to read it, which lead to a lecture about how I need to teach them why it’s shitty, shitty, and how they were reading my books so I couldn’t be such a bitch.
“The Thin Place is tough, and they’re reading it,” she said.
“But it’s good!”
Of course, since she’s a Social Worker, Sister #2 would not let me treat those not so forunate as I to be blessed with good taste in literature so poorly.
So I listened to the shitty, shitty Wedding by Nicholas Sparks, and it is everything I hate in a book: predictable, cliche, trite, coy, and it includes a ’surprise’ ending just to make it extra special bad. There’s nothing that makes me angrier than a coy fucking narrator. I hate that shit. How can I take your character seriously when I find out at the end that he’s been lying to me throughout the entire novel? Why did Wilson have to be coy with me?
A book about a guy trying for an entire year to keep a wedding a secret from his wife would be much more interesting than this shitty, shitty book about a guy who is helping plan a last minute wedding for his daughter.
The absolute worst thing about this fucking wedding premise is that the whole lie was shitty and predictable. I knew that the main guy was throwing this ‘wedding’ to make up for forgetting his anniversary on like page 10 (or the audiobook equivalent of page 10).
I hate this book so much that I kind of want to find Nicholas Sparks and break his keyboard and steal all his pens so this kind of crappy pap is no longer foisted on the unwitting public.
Tags: Books, Kathryn Davis, Nicholas Sparks
Posted on Thu, 29 June 2006 at 7:07 pm
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Could you tell us how you REALLY feel? Heh!
29 Jun 06 at 9:09 pm #Some people have raved so much about how they liked one of the movies based on his book, oh yeah, The Notebook, but every time I have started to read one of his books I can’t get past the first chapter because it seems so corny, so cliched, so boring, so predictible, so sappy, so smarmy, I just couldn’t keep on reading, but I could keep going on about how it was unappetizing for me.
I have King Dork on hold at the library, based on your recommendation. I loved Catcher in the Rye too. King Dork is in the young adult section at our library. If it’s like Catcher, it will appeal to all ages.
30 Jun 06 at 1:59 pm #I don’t think it was that bad. However, I enjoyed listening to your opinion. Quite entertaining. I can also see from your point of view and have to agree that it would have been better had he told us about the wedding from the bedding.
07 May 08 at 3:15 pm #*beginning.
07 May 08 at 3:16 pm #i totally DISAGREE you dont go callin a book shitty thats just wrong i love this book even tho im only on pg 22 you dont know what you tlkin so dont even start with me and if you need to know more the number is 539-9982 peace out home skillet
15 Oct 08 at 10:02 am #You are free to have an opinion. I am guessing by your inability to punctuate that you are the target market for this book. I hope you live happily ever after with it.
15 Oct 08 at 10:07 am #