I am so over you. It has come to my attention that I haven’t had a memorable, kick-ass summer since 2003. That’s inexcusable. Summer, I am not sure if it’s you or me.
But clearly we have a problem. Summer you used to hold such promise — long days, nice weather, fruity drinks with cute men. We have a good history. So many of my most favorite memories can be pinpointed back to summer. So many romance, so many escapdes. But lately, your brilliance has faded.
What happened to you Summer? You are nothing like the buzz that surrounds you.
There was no beach blanket bingo with blond surfers. There was no summer loving, there was no having a blast. There was only oppressive heat, high gas prices, and utter boredom. Summer, even your movies sucked ass.
I’ve decided now that I’m a grown-up (and I am totally a grown-up what with the mortgage and water softener) I will not buy into your buzz. Your PR hacks can suck it Summer, because I am totally throwing my total and complete allegiance to Autumn. Summer is so 2003. Autumn is where it’s at.
Bring on the school bus, the sharpened pencils, the nerdy, sweater-wearing, glasses sporting men. That’s what I want.
Sorry Summer, you have been demoted to third-favorite season.
With fond memories,