My nightly before bed ritual has become known at Supergenius HQ as the orgasmathon. It’s has earned this name because I swoon with delight after just about every sentence in Jonathan Lethem’s Motherless Brooklyn. The book is so fucking good that I get a squiggly feeling in the pit of my stomach just thinking about [...]
November, 2006
27
Nov 06
Success is Relative, Height isn’t everything
Success Is Relative, and Height Isn’t Everything from the Times. I was rooting for the taller people are way smarter researchers to be right, apparently not so much.
27
Nov 06
Wouldn’t like to get my love caught in a slamming door
My stomach and I are no longer on speaking terms. I’ve decided that if it doesn’t feel better tomorrow then I will remove it myself with a clean spoon. I have no time for this stomach-achey bullshit.
In my weakened conditioned I have fallen under the spell of this cover of Paul Abdul’s “Straight Up.”
Yeah, [...]
26
Nov 06
In restless dreams I walked alone, a list to celebrate the end of the siege
Last night’s 4th Annual Chromey vs. Chromey kicked my ass. But we won, again.
I think I should be able to take next week off of work too, since this week was totally wrecked by being sick just about every other day and having to deal with Sister #4
I have a story due on Thursday and [...]
25
Nov 06
Supergenius HQ under siege: Day 10, the infestation
I woke up this morning to pizza crusts on the living room floor and dirty napkins littering the coffee table. When I went to pick up the remnants of Sister #4 and Amandahugnkiss’s dinner, I discovered ants crawling all over the pizza crusts. Yum!
At that point I figured that the homicide would be totally justifiable, [...]
23
Nov 06
Thankful list, an attempt to count blessings
I am thankful for:
Boomerang showing every single episode of The Flintstones ever.
Dad being healthy enough to spend another Thanksgiving with us and my mom. Hug your parents people, not everyone gets to this year.
Jonathan Lethem’s Motherless Brooklyn, it’s really fucking good.
For my beautiful sisters, even Sister #4 — the great imposer, and the men they [...]
23
Nov 06
brad zellar wants
This Thanksgiving morning, Brad Zellar tells us what he wants and leaves me speechless.
23
Nov 06
tod goldberg’s thanksgiving message
Tod Goldberg’s Thanksgiving message Give it up one time for Squanto will make you laugh.
22
Nov 06
Looking like a train wreck
I was glued to my chair and my eyes are started to water because I hadn’t blinked in 43 minutes. While enjoying my solo sans pants time this evening, I started channel surfing and landed on The Real World: Denver. I was immediately mesmerized. Don’t judge me, you too would have been unable to surf [...]
22
Nov 06
Supergenius HQ under siege: Day 7, back from the brink of death
Okay, so I actually only saw Sister #4 for about 12 minutes so far today. She didn’t get up until right before I had to leave to get the traditional $50 Thanksgiving Cheesecake. Yes, I feel totally yuppie and completely sinful for spending so much on a cake. In my defense it will last two [...]
21
Nov 06
Supergenius HQ under siege: Day 6, the annoying becomes the annoyed
I have found the lethal combination of television programs to bug the shit out of Sister #4. The combination includes at least three episodes of Dawson’s Creek interspersed with repeated viewings last week’s “The Office.” I feel, somehow, victorious.
21
Nov 06
It’s not the ribbons in your hair
To truly recover from the flu, I have discovered that you have to spend a great amount of time not wearing pants while simultaneously not laying in bed. It’s really quite necessary to make a full recovery. Listening to Iron & Wine’s cover of “Such Great Heights” sixteen times in a row helps a lot [...]
21
Nov 06
It only hurts when I laugh
Despite my begging, God saw fit to make me live another day. There were a few times during yesterday’s battle with the flu that I prayed for death, because that seemed so much easier. But since God has a sense of humor, he or she thought it’d be much more funny to keep me alive [...]
20
Nov 06
Supergenius HQ under siege: Day 5, when the flu attacks
Most normal people would think that if the owner of the home you’re staying in had done nothing but vomit for the past five hours, it might not be such a good idea to have friends over to stay the night.
Clearly, Sister #4 is not normal.
I pity the fool who is going to be staying [...]
19
Nov 06
Supergenius HQ under siege: Day 4
Sister #4 arrived from Udaho sometime Thursday, through luck and happenstance I actually didn’t see her until yesterday. It took us until this morning to have our first fight.
We fought because I was a little bit pissed to find out today, Sunday, that she was actually having a friend over tomorrow night, who would be [...]
