Entries from December 2006
On literature-induced orgasms or, I think this bodes well for 2007
No evening of total indulgence and self-decadence would be complete without a healthy orgasm or two (or three). So, I’m upstairs doing my business, practicing my little heart out when I hear one of my neighbors shoveling their driveway or sidewalk. All thoughts of tall dark-haired men, spanking, and erotic naughtiness flew out of my [...]
Read moreTaking the New Year’s celebration into my own hands
It’s been raining for two days straight and now that rain has changed to snow. It really is pretty, and it’s been a long time since we’ve seen snow in Minnesota. Watching the flakes pile up on the fence makes me feel all the better for my decision to stay home this New Year’s Eve. [...]
Read moreQuestions I asked Wolfdogg tonight
Who played bass for the Ramones? It was Dee Dee and he is my favorite Ramone now, because I watched “Rock and Roll High School” and dude he’s the hottest one ever. And, apparently, he’s the one who yelled “1, 2, 3, 4″ before each song.
What did the bride die of in the video November [...]
The new love of my life
Isn’t she glorious? She arrived around noon today. I carefully disrobed her and then spent an hour making sweet sweet love to her, strumming and singing “I love you Darren. I love you Darren. Darren, I love you.”
I thought for awhile that she might be a boy, but I was wrong. She’s totally totally a [...]
Come here mama and dig this crazy scene
We used to go to the Golden Chair because Anderla had a thing for Eau Claire rockers and I had a thing for cold, cold beer and darts. The Chair, as we called it, was owned by one of the EC Rockers, or an EC Rocker wannabe. I can’t remember anymore. Rumor was that Daddy [...]
Read moreIf only I could just think of the right opening line
It has come to my attention that while 2006 was supposed to be my year, it totally was not my year. Why? Because I had no sex with anyone other than me in all of 2006. At least so far, and there’s what like four days left in the year? (I have totally reached that [...]
Read moreAt least we didn’t have to explain what ass to mouth was
The presents were all opened and the dinner eaten, when the family settled in for a bit of game playing. Sister #2 had gotten Sister #4 a Deal or No Deal game at Walgreens (Tony got me a showerhead and a welcome mat from Home Depot), that they had popped into the DVD player.
Mamala [...]
My Christmas wish for you, darling ones
I haven’t opened a single Christmas present yet, but I already got the best gift I’m gonna get this year.
You see, Saturday night I had myself a little panic attack. I was still pretty raw from my wanton Googling escapade. One minute I was bent over blow drying my hair and the next I’m [...]
Happy Birthday Sister #2
It was on this day in 1970something (I can’t remember how old she is) that I became a sister! Happy Birthday Sister #2.
Read moreGoogling under the influence of slow, sappy Wilco songs can be hazardous to your mental health
There comes a time in the night after being awake for so many hours (insomnia can suck my left one) when your computer should just automatically turn off because nothing good could come from anything that you’re gonna do. Nothing.
For some reason I decided at about midnight it would be a good idea to Google [...]
Things I have realized after spending the last day and a half totally alone in Supergenius HQ
I just found an m&m in my sweatshirt pocket and ate it. I have no idea how old it is. It tasted okay, so I probably won’t die
VH1 Classic is my new all-time favorite channel. I have donated at least some of my attention to: “Hangin’ with Hall & Oates,” “Pop-up Videos,” “Decades Rock Live [...]
The 12 days of Christmas start now!
Last night as we were leaving, Seamus, H. (who we really call H. Lastname, but I don’t want to put her last name out here), and I did a spontaneous dance of joy. I couldn’t restrain myself and cajoled the other two to join me. It was, after all, our last day of work for [...]
Read morehappy elf
Want to know how happy I am to not work for the next 12 days? This is how happy I am.
Read moreconfession #291
I am watching Cyndi Lauper and Scott Weiland sing “Money Changes Everything.” It felt like something I should confess.
Read moreI’m generally not the praying kind, but Jim Walsh & Paul Westerberg could make me do just about anything
When I see the words “bad news” the pessimistic side of my personality immediately jumps to death. So it was with a thudding heart and stinging eyes that I headed over to the Walsh Files and tried to prepare myself for the worst.
It’s amazing how long it can take a web page to load. Long [...]
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