The collision of Valentine’s Day with me monthly menses is a cruel, cruel motherfucking joke. Plus, it’s February where, traditionally, I spend all my time cursing winter, the world, loneliness, and wondering why it is that nobody will ever, ever love me, all while wearing my pajamas and hoping the entire world outside my door [...]

The rage emanating from my eyes could temporarily incapacitate a man at 20 paces, any closer and death. It’s a cranky, crabby, highly annoyed day in the land of the Supergenius. Chances are if you can’t find the right combination of magical spells to placate me, I will eat your face. You have been warned.
So [...]

In class on Thursday we workshopped a story that had a wonderful premise. In the story a man is afflicted with all the diseases ever, a condition called Itisitis. With the Itisitis comes a superpower, the ability to give it away. Anyway, like I said, the premise was pretty kick ass.
So, as it often [...]

After many years of faithful service, Kathleen Turner Overdrive (nee Roland, nee Roland II the Electric Boogaloo) has retired. I am a little sad to see it go. I loved that iPod more then one should probably love inanimate objects, but, well, I have issues.
KTO still isn’t sure how it will live out its [...]

If you’ve never sat naked on your bed talking to your boss on the phone, I don’t recommend it. It’s just weird.
I woke up this morning to the sound of my neighbor shoveling his driveway. Unlike last time I heard the shoveling, I didn’t think of writing and masturbation. Instead, in my semi-sleeping [...]

I am tired of the constant shivering, permanently erect nipples, and the ice-cream headache you get the minute you step outside. However, I will never tire of the way Paco will curl up on my feet the minute I whip out the trusty green afghan and wrap it around myself. He is the only [...]

When Sister #2 announced to the kidlings that they were going to attend a Superbowl party Max immediately rebelled and begged to go to Aunt Jodi’s, because he knew I wouldn’t be watching the Superbowl.
As soon as he walked in the door I warned him that we would be watching the halftime show.
“Why?” He [...]

Not going outside
Having an anti-Superbowl party with Jaycie and Max (they’re coming over here)
Reading Hush, Vol. 2, since I read all of Hush, Vol. 1 while sitting at the bowling alley last night
Making some e-Valentines
Watching “Little Miss Sunshine”
Making chili and chicken noodle soup
Practicing, napping, and finishing up The Road

yummy.

My weaknesses as enumerated to Kelly this afternoon:
1. Redheads
2. Nutter Butters
3. 22-year-olds
With so few weaknesses, I am totally a superhero.

Every first night of class, the teacher makes you go around the room and introduce yourself. You usually say your name, what you’re working on, and who your favorite authors are. It’s painfully awkward and easily my favorite part of the first class. I think you can tell a lot about people by how they [...]