Sometime last week during Lunchclub my co-workers and I got to arguing about wafer cookies, and the various flavors. I was arguing that instead of tasting like chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla the cookies actually tasted like brown, pink, and white. There really was no discernable flavor.
This was quite a controversial charge, and the gauntlet was [...]

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This episode of Bookclub Bitches finds us reading Rob Sheffield’s Love is a Mix Tape. I apologize in advance for my utterly annoying, drunk on wine-coolers whinnying-like laugh. Seriously, when I hear these podcasts it makes me wonder why anyone would ever listen to me speak. Because if I had to listen to [...]

Everyone I ever knew (high school, college, Peabo, Wolfdogg, coworkers, my sisters) went to a Rolling Stones concert. I got in free because the ticket guy thought I was cute. None of my friends were impressed by this, though I told them all repeatedly. Also, in the middle of their set, Mick Jagger walked out [...]

We were in Ruby racing to the movie theater listening to Velveeta Love 105.7 when a commercial advertising an upcoming concert comes on.
“What did they just say?” Jaycie asked.
“Moody Blues,” I shouted. We both had our windows all the way down.
“What?”
“Moody Blues,” I shouted again.
“Really?”
“Yes. MoooooDEE Blues.”
“Oh,” she started to laugh. “I thought they said [...]

Jaycie, Max, and I are about to venture out to see “Shrek the Third.” The little kid excitement is at an all-time high here at Supergenius HQ. Since they arrived at 11:10 they have asked roughly 38 times when we’re going to the 12 o’clock movie. They’re very worried about not getting a seat.
But [...]

My plans suddenly reappeared tonight, which is good. FFJ and I got together to do our May installment of Bookclub Bitches. I’ll be posting it later this weekend. But it is good, probably the best episode yet. You will see. Every time those wavy blue sound things come up in Audacity (pictured above) it means [...]

The sheer number of Altoids Dark Chocolate Dipped Mints I’ve consumed today
Making this list instead of, you know, doing something important
That I not only watched America’s Next Top Model last night but that it made me cry
And so did the Real World
The fact that I was not upset at all about my plans for tonight [...]

Saying it out loud, where I basically tell my family that I am going to write a book. Skip to the comments to see their responses.

I woke up at 2:30 this morning with the light on in my bedroom and Kevin Brockmeier’s The Brief History of the Dead plastered to my face. I had been trying valiantly to finish up the last 30 pages, but apparently my exhaustion won out over Brockmeier’s book.
Even though I haven’t finished this [...]

Despite my howls of protest, my family has instituted family dinner night on Tuesdays. Since the bowling alley closed my parents have found themselves with more free time then they know how to fill. Thus the summer of family togetherness. I was going to howl a bit more about this nonsense, but then I realized [...]

With special thanks to Simon & Garfunkel:
Hello allergies, my old friend,
I’ve come to bitch about you again,
Because a sneeze softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the pollen that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of sneezing.

Because torturing Max about Sweet Caroline never gets old, Jaycie and I listened to two songs on repeat as we tooled about town — Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline” and Elvis Costello’s “Veronica.”
After about two listens a piece, Jaycie turned to me. “Which song do you like better?”
“Veronica,” I said.
“Huh.” She pushed up her glasses and [...]

Dear 6:30 a.m.,
It’s not you, it’s me. I’m sorry 6:30 a.m. I know I must have looked quite delectable this morning with the nice buttery sheet wrapped around me, all peaceful and sleeping. The birds were chirping and the sky was overcast. And that gentle breeze coming through the open window? That was awesome. So [...]

For about a week I’ve had the theme to “The Greatest American Hero” stuck in my head on repeat. Now you probably will too.

USA Today’s Top 25 TV Moments. Number 14? Dawson’s Creek. Take that you haters.