Wilco announces Minneapolis date (Thank you God).

Damnit One of my all-time favorite imaginary boyfriends got married, I hate when they do that to me. [via]

There are many things I don’t understand. Physics, how the average person can tolerate seeing or hearing Gwen Stefani without wanting to punch someone in the neck, and the weird, fanatical love lavished on Jack Kerouac’s On The Road.
Since this year marks the 50th anniversary of the book’s publication there’s been much ballyhoo about [...]

The thing that upset me the most about not having cable and internet access was that I missed yesterday’s new episode of Rock of Love
When I got home at midnight to discover that the cable had been restored, the first thing I did was go find out when Rock of Love was on and record [...]

So apparently two hockey stars got married in Roseville over the weekend, and now it’s on People.com’s RSS feed. God I love this state.

First the bad news, I’ve been without cable and internet access since 8 p.m. last night. I’ve called Comcast so often that they are now avoiding my calls. Bastards. Maybe if they didn’t lie to me last night and tell me that everything was okie dokie I wouldn’t find the need to call them incessantly.
We [...]

Meet my soon-to-be new bed! Isn’t it the bomb? After much rigorous research and a year of indecision. I found the absolute coolest, most perfect bed ever put on this earth.
Isn’t she lovely?
Now I just need to finish priming the master bedroom, painting the master bedroom, getting a new ceiling fan in the master bedroom [...]

MNSpeak on dry humping.

Each morning as I approach the gates of Hell, Inc. I have to do a drunken bob and weave up the sidewalk to avoid getting scratched by the delightful crabapple trees that line the walk.
I don’t bat the low-hanging branches away from my face, because it just seems really angry. And, hell, I am [...]

I had another dream about Prince last night. This could be more disturbing. But the fact that I had a dream means that I slept more than five hours and that’s a thing worthy of celebration.
In the dream Prince and I were making a mixtape. An old school tape and not a CD we call [...]

The 25 Best Opening Lyrics.

For the past week or so someone has been doing some in-depth research here on iwilldare.com about the TTHM. I don’t know who it is. It’s been fascinating watching the mystery searcher plunder through seven years of archives.
The mystery searcher is not the legendary TTHM. I asked him. This has, of course made the [...]

Tuesday was my last night of poetry class. I cannot say I am sad to see it go. Poetry was tough for me and made me long for the fiction that I love so much. I will miss hanging out Peabo and Polly Pockets, but still at least I won’t have to write any more [...]

My attraction to Jason Schwartzman
Why the movie Shopgirl makes me cry when I hated the book
How Hershey’s Special Dark with Crisped Rice can taste so good
The way that Sunday night can weigh on your chest like a brick of sadness that makes you weepy and all melancholy for no apparent reason other then it’s Sunday [...]

“Do you have a penis?”
“No.”
“I do.”
“I know.”
“You should get one,” he said. “You can just stick it on.”