So Buzzfeed’s got a piece up on tall women dating short men. I’ve wasted most of the morning reading the posts and accompanying comments. A few of may favorites? Not wanting to date shorter men is sexist, Jezebel comments where all these 5′10″ women are talking about how hard it is to find taller men, and the Guardian piece where the author admits that 5′10″, while tall, isn’t freakishly tall.
As a member of the freakishly tall female clan (6′5″ in my bare feet), I find all this endlessly fascinating. While I understand what the 5′10″ shorties mean when they say they just want a tall hunk of a man to curl into, I can’t help but snort in derision. It’s so snotty, I know. But come on, are the six-foot men really that hard to find? Every guy I know claims to be 6 feet tall (which makes me anywhere from 6′5″ to 7′2″ depending on the man).
I have always, always, always, always dated men shorter than me. I don’t have a choice really, there aren’t a lot of men taller than me. Plus, growing up a taller woman was never that weird. My mom is 5′10″ and on his best days my dad might reach 5′7″.
So it was never weird to date shorter guys. In fact, I never even dated someone taller than me until I was in my late, late 20s. I discovered two things:
1.) Height cannot be the only thing you have in common, sadly
2.) It’s weird dating someone taller. I’m used to being the tallest person in the room no matter where I go. Always. So when I’m around someone taller than me I have this constant feeling that someone is reading my newspaper over my shoulder. It’s disconcerting.
While I would like to sit up here on my high horse, I cannot deny that I have rejected men for being too short. I am not comfortable dating a man who is close to a foot shorter than me. Is that sexist? Perhaps, but I don’t care.
That being said, dating a shorter man has more to do with the individual guy then some arbitrary number. I’ve been with 5′10″ men who have made me feel like the most attractive, beautiful creature to ever walk the earth, and I’ve been with 6′7″ men who have made me feel like pond scum. I’ve realized, much too late in life, that the way he makes me feel is much more important then what people might think when they see us together.
So why don’t we see more tall women with shorter men? I think it all comes down to self confidence. Shorter men don’t approach tall women because they are sure they will be rejected, tall women don’t approach short men for the same reason.
Tags: On being tall, Relationships
I have seen a video where a man is about 30″ tall married to a woman over 5L6″. That to me was unbelievable. But anything less than ifoot difference is OK
Im actually a 6′ 4″ guy and I’d love to have a woman as tall as me, 6′ 5″ is ok too
I’m a male 6ft. tall and I won’t date a woman less than 6ft myself. Although what’s on the inside is what counts…my goal is to find that awesome beauty who spans over 6ft. I guess it had something to do with my first love who was 6′6″. If only I could I could find a 7 foot tall woman…I would be so happy!!(THen I could put her in some heels!!) A woman under 6 foot is just so typical.
I’m six foot and short men are always trying to talk to me in nite clubs, its as though tall me are intimidated by me, short me look at me as a challenge. I just want to be happy right now I’m so lonely because I want a good man size doesn’t really matter its what’s in the heart that’s really important.
Four words: Susan. Anton. Dudley. Moore.
I am a six foot tall woman who absolutely adores her heels and will not wear flats under any circumstances. I have been fortunate to date men that have been taller than me but it has been hard finding a man who is six foot and taller and not had an issue with me wearing heels. I would love to meet that man! Men generally find me intimidating no matter how much I try to accomodate them and I have been told that its because I am slim, black and beautiful. I just want a man who won’t be intimidated and appreciate me for who I am!
I am only 5.2 and I never had a date before. Women alwanys tell me I am too short, not their type, or too nice. I will love to date tall women. Height doesn’t matter. Taller they are the bigger the hugs and heart. For me big things come in smaller packages like my heart. For women who are tall its even a bigger heart… So please give me a call at seven zero two five zero one one five three two. Lets talk and be happy… Hugs… Jason
Being 6′9″, I sure wish there were more taller women out there. Although one of my best friends is less than 5′, I find dating shorter women to be uncomfortable. Even more uncomfortable is trying to find a car that isn’t a luxury sedan. So it goes.
I’m at 5′1 guy and used to think i could not have a women less taller than myself. But just last year i dated a super tall women who is 6′4 . i feel brilliant because size does not matter
hello! i am a 30 year old single 6′4” woman who doesn’t share the story of ‘dating shorter men’ but has the story of ‘lack of dating due to scared short men’. i am open to dating men shorter than me (to an extent, i have to admit…. 5′10” might be my cut off) but regardless, it is always so much more THEIR problem rather than mine. yes, the old quote of confidence that i hear from friends ‘well, then you wouldn’t want them anyway….’ fair. but seriously- where to turn? where do i look for a man of solid character, emotional maturity and good sense of self….. who of course can handle and would love to behold a woman of my size? -annoyed.
I am a 5′6″ tall male, and I have always loved and been fascinated with taller women. If they are 6ft, and they want to wear 4 or 5 inch heels, I say more power to them. It doesn’t bother me they they are taller, or can make themselves taller than they are. I have found the the problem lies with the women. They see a shorter guy, and they are like…”no way” They seem to feel like giants next to a shorter guy, no matter how hard any of us shorter guys try to make them feel pretty, and loved.