So Buzzfeed’s got a piece up on tall women dating short men. I’ve wasted most of the morning reading the posts and accompanying comments. A few of may favorites? Not wanting to date shorter men is sexist, Jezebel comments where all these 5′10″ women are talking about how hard it is to find taller men, and the Guardian piece where the author admits that 5′10″, while tall, isn’t freakishly tall.
As a member of the freakishly tall female clan (6′5″ in my bare feet), I find all this endlessly fascinating. While I understand what the 5′10″ shorties mean when they say they just want a tall hunk of a man to curl into, I can’t help but snort in derision. It’s so snotty, I know. But come on, are the six-foot men really that hard to find? Every guy I know claims to be 6 feet tall (which makes me anywhere from 6′5″ to 7′2″ depending on the man).
I have always, always, always, always dated men shorter than me. I don’t have a choice really, there aren’t a lot of men taller than me. Plus, growing up a taller woman was never that weird. My mom is 5′10″ and on his best days my dad might reach 5′7″.
So it was never weird to date shorter guys. In fact, I never even dated someone taller than me until I was in my late, late 20s. I discovered two things:
1.) Height cannot be the only thing you have in common, sadly
2.) It’s weird dating someone taller. I’m used to being the tallest person in the room no matter where I go. Always. So when I’m around someone taller than me I have this constant feeling that someone is reading my newspaper over my shoulder. It’s disconcerting.
While I would like to sit up here on my high horse, I cannot deny that I have rejected men for being too short. I am not comfortable dating a man who is close to a foot shorter than me. Is that sexist? Perhaps, but I don’t care.
That being said, dating a shorter man has more to do with the individual guy then some arbitrary number. I’ve been with 5′10″ men who have made me feel like the most attractive, beautiful creature to ever walk the earth, and I’ve been with 6′7″ men who have made me feel like pond scum. I’ve realized, much too late in life, that the way he makes me feel is much more important then what people might think when they see us together.
So why don’t we see more tall women with shorter men? I think it all comes down to self confidence. Shorter men don’t approach tall women because they are sure they will be rejected, tall women don’t approach short men for the same reason.
Tags: On being tall, Relationships
Man, I took issue with that chick’s comment in the first paragraph. Not dating a guy because he’s short isn’t ’sexist.’ It has nothing to do with his sex. Heightist, maybe. But if she’s going to criticize, she should at least criticize with the right label.
I think it was a Dude who wrote that one, but you’re right it’s not sexist.
I was once called a racist for not wanting to date a shorter man.
I never got to date anyone taller than me, as I am also 6′5″. I would totally have dated a tall chick, though, as long as she had a nice rack. A guy has to have his priorities.
Oh, I know what you mean. I’d totally date a midget if he had a GIANT penis. We girls have priorities too.
Of course, giant to a midget is pretty much just normal to anyone else.
It’d have to seem giant to me, ya heathen.
… imagining a midget with a schlong that would look giant to a 6′5″ woman. *snort!* bwahahaha!
I think the punchline is 10 lbs, 2 ounces.
BTW, your comments about how you feel rather than what others think are touching and sweet.
I have a great relationship with a 6ft woman, I am 5ft3.we have been dating for about 3 months now,in getting to know each other, we both came to the realization , that height doesnt matter and for us it is in fact , the only thing we do not have in common.The one thing a shorter man has to have in dating a tall woman is confidance, and a sense of humor, it helps when you have to ask for a kiss , because you cant reach that high.
Hello! Just stumbled over this entry of yours while researching Sophie Dahl, and all I have to say is – preach it! I’m only 5′8″ and I’ve continuously felt weird and awkward about being “tall,” and you know, this is the time to start getting over that.
Your post made me realize that it’s really all about confidence. I honestly wonder how many potentially good relationships never saw the light of day because of “ZOMG, he’s short!”
I’m just glad that I was able to get over that, in part, when I met my boyfriend – who’s a few inches shorter. In fact, I think I’ll be writing an essay about all of this. I might contact you for an interview you at some point.
I’m a relatively short man (5′8″) and have always wanted to date a taller, sophosticated and well-built woman (6 feet and up), but have not been successful finding such a partner as yet, anyone here?
Good luck on your quest. I hate to break it to you, but this isn’t a dating site or a personals site or a place to find sophisticated, well-built 6 feet and up women.
It’s just me, crude, tall, and poorly built.
I am a man of middle haight 1.78 cm (5.10ft),and I have a problem….I always could have almost every girl of my heihgt and less,but never a taller one…only once i had a relationship with a girl that was 1.83 and i liked it very much cause I appreciate and like tall women…so if there’s any tall woman interested,
plzz contact me through msn or e-mail…my id is andreasN.Kosmos@hotmail.com
that’s for now…kisses…!
Well, 6′5″ Single Woman, you’ve essentially realized the key of going beyond what society says people should want in one another. That key is how the guy makes you feel feminine, smart, sexy, secure, and appreciated. The “5′10″ shorties” to which you refer don’t yet realize that they are fooling themselves thinking a guy needs to be taller to make them feel protected when it’s really their true desire to feel EMOTIONALLY secure and protected. I am 5′2″ and from the moment I notice a tall gorgeous girl from across the room, I see her smile, blush, and melt in the most feminine way.
Just wondering how this topic came up. As a tall male, the only time I can think that height makes a difference to me is on the dance floor. There’s a lot more about personal compatibility than height. The tragic implication of your experience with the tall ones who treated you like pond scum tells me you already know this. Nonetheless, not all males of the relatively taller category treat their dates that way, and some of us actually treat them well.
I just wanted to add it’s all about confidence I’m 5,6-5,7 at most and last week I found out that a woman I work with…actually has a had a crush on me…she is 6,3 beautiful and simply wicked…she stepped up and asked me out because she figured I would never have asked her for fear rejection. (she was right didn’t think I had a chance in h-ll) So all I have to say is there are some tall women who will date a shorter man….but my fellow short men you need to be confident in yourself!!! It all starts there.
Wow I can absolutely agree with everything you’ve said. I’m 6′4″ and never dated a guy taller than me. My current partner is about 5″10. It’s absolutely fine, not a problem, except that I sometimes get upset by other people’s comments. People ask him if he has to stand on a box to kiss me. Random people on the street feel they have the right to shout out “She’s too tall for you!”. People are so cruel and rude sometimes.
Nice to read sensible comments for a change! I’m 5′5 and regretably turned down a lass I fancied in my teens because she was about 6′2. I regretfully bottled it because of what others might think. Now I’ve grown up (lol, in my outlook on life etc that is)Im more than pleased to say that fate has thrown us together again after some 20 yrs and I am proud to be reunited with my tall girlfriend.So to hell with what others might think,e know better! We have a fantastic thing together and height difference is certainly no longer a concern. Good on ya 6′5 babe.
I’m a pretty short guy (5′8″ on a normal day, maybe 5′9″ if I sleep real well) and I’ve been told that this is “average height” which is a gigantic load of bull. Nearly every where I go I can spot easily hundreds of people that are taller than me, and a good deal are ladies. I’ve got a preference for tall ladies, and don’t feel intimidated by taller women at all, but I feel as if I’ve not a chance in hell to get with them.
I’ve got a female friend who’s around 6′2″ and she told me she would never date a man who was more than an inch shorter, which to me, was a fairly progressive stand-point (awfully insecure and shallow, but better than some other things I’ve heard). She obviously never even considered that she’d be hurting my feelings (not that we were dating, but still, way to make me even less emotionally stable). It seems to me that women who are tall only date short men when, in your case, they’ve really got no choice, or, rarely, they aren’t overly shallow. Tall women are insecure because they feel like everyone stares at them, and don’t want to be the freak on display. I would never want to be with someone who feels the need to be that way.
Amazonian babes, listen up, short men are really cool. We treat you right because we will be really grateful just to hold your hand, or be seen with you in public. We’re funny and truly interesting to make up for our lack of sex appeal, and we’ll make you feel like goddesses. You’ve just gotta give us one chance to prove ourselves. Tall men will treat you worse than a short man will. They are spoiled and brash. They will cheat on you and make you feel bad.
The next time a short man asks you out, consider him for a minute. You might just find your next true love.
hi there.! i am a 5′2″ indian male (short,fat and ware glasses)not looking good so far. I work face to face with customers all day long. Young ,old, men and lots and lots of beautiful women of all types and sizes, working in such an environment has boosted my condidence no end and now i will brush off any hurtful or inipropreate comments about my height because i’m the bigger man (so to speak?). I have found that a woman will fall for you because your the best man she has ever met and if she can see past the height difference thing , i can’t see why the relationship won’t work.
I know of many guys (me included) that are attracted to a taller woman. Is it weird that I would want to be with a woman that might stand a head taller?
It is a thrill to have that long body taking up all my visual space as we stand close or dance with those arms all around me.
Jodi? If you still look at this piece. I want to say you’re a rare find. You give hope to those guys that do like the tall side of the female world.
I forgot to state I’m 5′8″.
I am a 5′5″ tall guy, and have been since high school. In high school I attracted a girl who was about 6′5″ (a foot taller). I didn’t ask her out for fear of what others will say and think. I also attracted a woman who must have been about 6′ 7″ or 6′ 8″ while on a line in a convenience store. I was up to her shoulder, and had fear again of what other people will say. I know these 2 height differences are extremely substantial, but they showed me something about self-confidence and making taller women feel good as well. For years and years I was turning down numerous chances to date more than a dozen women who are taller than me. Several were much taller. That’s when I began to realize that tall or short, women have a heart, a soul, and personality. So I began to just treat women with respect for all of the characteristics that make them ladies. Being relaxed, friendly, personable, and sharing a sense of humor, has been among the reasons why I’ve had so many tall women show interest in me. Short ones too. But when I look up at a lady who is a few inches taller, or even 10 + inches taller, I don’t treat them differently or look at them like they are different. I never ask a tall lady, “How tall are you?”, unless I get to know her enough, and in conversation she wouldn’t feel uncomfortable telling me. I never ask women who are 5′10″ and over, “Do you play basketball?” or “Are you a Volleyball player?” Some tall women are nurses, lawyers, teachers etc. I also don’t ever say to a very tall woman, “Wow, you’re so tall!” I’m not informing her of something she doesn’t already know. Besides, I don’t want for her to say, “Wow, you’re so short!”…”Do you play miniature golf?” Ha Ha
All in all, I’ve become so used to just treating any lady, with class and talking with her because she is interesting, has a great sense of humor, or a great personality. At this point, I don’t even think much about the height of a taller woman. This has made me confident enough to get dates, as well as having made taller women feel good about themselves and dating me or other short guys. We are all born with very little control over what our height will be as adults. But we have a lot of control over how we percieve others, and how we connect. We also have a lot of control over how we communicate with people no matter what their height. To me, it is not about a taller woman’s height, it’s about making a taller woman feel good, appreciated, and respected for who she is as a lady. Plus, making her laugh and feel connected in interests as well as personality, can easily make height of lesser issue. The lady who is 6′5″ and wrote the post, has a great point, that how a man makes her feel is more important than what others might think if she’s seen together with a shorter man. Confidence and mutual respect make a huge difference in such relationships. When taller woman date shorter men and vice versa, ultimately others who may make comments, would see that other compatibilities exist. Love, care, and friendship would be the tallest of all.
I’m a man (5′4) and have wanted a taller, well-built woman (upto 6 ft), but have not been finding such a partner as yet,but once i had a relationship with a girl that was 5.6 and so if there’s any tall woman interested,
plzz contact me through e-mail…my id is mamr_a@yahoo.com
These comments are hilarious! I can’t believe I missed them before.
It’s kind of why I leave them. They crack me up. I don’t think a lot of the commenters even know what in the hell they are writing on. Does this look like a personals site?
I am 52 and 5′11″ in height,, and I love to be the shorter one.. I love the woman to be taller .. to the woman who wrote the above article.. The Perils of being 6′5… I would love to know you.. I am 52 and still single, becouse I love the taller woman, taller than I am..
ye, i love taller women,however; since i am 5′8″ tall I always had cold feet and chickened out and found a girl who was more “fitting” to my stature. But now i’m starting to think why not? If I like the person it shouldn’t be a problem.
Yeah, the grass is always greener. As a 6-8 guy (for real), the one thing I’ve always wanted to meet is a girl who is at least eye-level, or close. But everyone always says different…
Wow. This whole thing has been so amazing and eye opening for me to read. And I thought that I had it bad. I’m a 5′11 woman, and I always had this complex with shorter men. I always strayed away from shorter guys who were interested in me because I felt like I would make them feel like I was this giant and that they were insufficient. I also always liked the idea of having a guy bigger than me to just be able to envelope me in his arms, as sappy as that sounds. But recently, I have really started to become attracted to a guy that is 5′6, and it’s been killing me thinking about all of this kind of stuff. I needed validation that a tall woman and short guy could work out. I had no idea how many men liked dating taller women! This has opened my eyes and empowered me. Thank you.
Being “different” always caused me to second guess my worth, my attractiveness and my appeal. I was forever concious of the stares, the dumb comments, people automatically being intimidated by me,etc. But in time, I realized that what was most important was how I saw myself… I used to discriminate against shorter guys because I thought we’d look “silly” together. Then I came to myself and decided I would be an equal opportunity dater, I din’t want to miss out on a great guy simply because he was smaller in stature. I am a six footer and I actually think some guys are primarily attracted by the height itself. I once had a guy say to me, with his head barely coming up to my chest, “a short brother can’t get no play?” He was seriously about 5′2″, but I couldn’t be mad at him… Now I see how much confidence those shorter than I have and I dig that, they also make me feel more confident myself. I’ve mostly been wary of the size of my hands and feet, which are large, but are attributed to my stature. Like the author I dated a guy about 5′8 who made me feel absoltely gorgeous, like I was the sexiest woman on the planet, and none of his words or actions were about size, it was because he was diggin’ me…It is so about how an individual treats you and makes you feel special…Now that’s what’s up!
He was 5′6 I meant to say…
I am a 6′2 girl, that just found someone I think might be the one, and he is 5′9. I felt exactly how ” B” above felt, and I feel a lot better about it all now. I realized that I have never had anyone make me feel so happy, or special and that its time to get over what other people think.
I’m 5′6″. I’d actually like to date silly tall women but I can barely work up the nerve to talk to short gals(my fault), I don’t think I can take being shut down by a mountain.
Wow! I love how you go about being so tall, it’s really a confidence booster. Ha, after reading what you wrote, i know i have NO right to complain, but I am 5′ 11″ and 16 years old…hopefully I am done growing, I think I am. My boyfriend is about 3 inches shorter than me, and I was considering breaking up with him because of our height differences, but I’ve made my decision. Thanks!
Damn, I found this while doing a GIS looking for porn involving tall chicks. What do I find? A reasonable well thought out bit on the struggles of a tall woman. I once knew a 6′4″ woman who was absolutely beautiful and intelligent and was going on a diet because she wanted to get back down to a size 6! It’s amazing the strange ideas people have about themselves.
For the record, I’m 6′2″ and used to have great times with women close to a foot shorter than me, although as stated earlier the slow dancing (which as a white guy is about all I do) was a bit awkward. I’ve been happily married to a 5′7″ girl for 11 years now.
Now back to surfing for porn (what else am I going to do at work?)
This is an interesting topic. As a 5′2″ tall woman, I once had a man who was 7′2″ tall ask me for a date. The distance was a major factor, so it never materialized. The second gentleman was 6ft 10″ tall. Unfortunately, taller men do have heart problems due to the amount of blood flow required to regulate their hearts. The second gentleman informed me that he only had a few months left to live after we had been long distance friends for over 6 months. It was very heart breaking indeed. When meeting shorter men, I do find that they are extemely attracted to taller woman anywhere’s from 5′10″ to over the 6′ foot marker. It is interesting how both tall and short men view woman. All in all, from what I have noticed is that most tall men would like to date woman who are at eyes height, whereas shorter men seem to be very attracted to very tall woman. And from this post, it seems that short guys seem to stand a better chance of dating tall ladies. And short girls are left out in the cold, especially woman who are 5′5″ or even shorter. Guys are lucky because most woman like them regardless of their height, it’s all about the confidence and respect for the other person. Still don’t know why these very tall men were so attracted to me, short men don’t even realize that I even exist. Then again I am very confident, and always respect all men regardless of height. It’s just natural for me to be kind and respectable at all times, and in all places. Don’t know why short guys avoid me, perhaps it’s because they feel more confident being with taller woman. From this site it seems that short guys should start dating taller woman like 5′10″ to 6′10″. Where does this leave all the nice kind shorter woman? Alone forever!!! A sad prospect indeed . . .
Jacie,
One honest tiny lady says ‘Don’t worry short men you have a better chance of dating any woman,than short woman have of dating any man – short/tall. Enought said on this topic, you short guys are LUCKY!!!
Short woman are UNLUCKY!!!
I am 6′2 and live in an area with hardly any tall guys. This article was pretty awesome and a major confidence booster. Everyday almost random strangers tell me “you’re gorgeous” or “you’re so beautiful” but all I could see was “I’m tall”. I’m starting to believe what they say and I think I’m going to start embracing the height I have. Thanks guys
well some men like dating tall women for the change , and some date all size women tall to small . Now I think if the women has a problem at dating a shorter man the the male may pick up on it a develop problems . but if the lady dose not have a problem with it them neather will the man she is with . that gose for some guys.
Note Now for me I am an all size person myself .
and being a male myself asking women out is a task in itself . men have the same fears as women do when it come to doing that at frist and for taller ladys , try asking out a shorter guy.
you may be serprised
:0 … i’m 5′2, never could date a girl that tall, but i don’t blame the height maybe i’m not using the right weapons :/
IM A 5′7 GUY MY GIRLFRIEND IS 6′5,SHE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SWEETEST GIRL IVE EVER MET AND I LOVE HER!!
Its not the height of the person that matters its their personality, and whether you ‘connect’ with them.
I am 6′5″ and have dated women who are 5′3″ – no problem. Enjoy the person forget the height!
I LOVE this article! I’m a 5′11″ tall gal. I used to be very self conscious about my height, and I only wanted to date tall guys, but they all turned out to be overconfident jerks. My boyfriend right now is 5′7″ and he’s the most amazing person ever! Height doesn’t matter if you really love each other.
I have a bone disease, and I am only 5ft3. my gf is 5ft11. we love each other alot, and height doesn’t matter.
i am 5′5 and my wife is 6′3. she has high heels that make her 7 feet. she rules the house and we never have a problem. tall women are great.
you do not know the thrill of being lifted and kissed by a tall womem.
It’s been a while since I checked this site. I truly love this site. You guys are awesome! Tall womam and men are very beautiful. You have no worries. I am short, but my respect and honesty have won me tall men who are very near and dear to me (5ft 10″ – 6ft 10″). I don’t connect well with short guys, but tall guys rule my world. I have had more tall men ask for dates than short men. I love tall men, because they don’t let height get in the way of their deep sincere love for their sweetheart!
Happy to know that tall men/woman are not only confident, but they don’t let height get in the way of their feelings for one they truly care for even if the person is not at eye level. This is a good feeling to know!
Love you guys!!!
Hello, Jodi. I was surfing various websites and I came across your blog. You have to be the third tall single young woman who wrote something about the “TALL WOMAN/SHORT MAN” dating situation. I’m still scratching my head about it. You talked about dating short confident guys. You never gave a legit reason why you don’t date guys taller than you are. I do understand that there are not that many guys that stand taller than 6′5″. As quiet as it’s kept, I’m 6′6″, 310lbs. (Guess my nickname BIG DEE didn’t give that stat away.) I guess I’m sitting on the male end of your universe. I’m a tall guy looking for a tall gal. I’ve avoided dating gals under six foot just because they always insist on using you like a beanstalk and their name in “JACKIE”. I’ve dealt with so many short women that I feel like Gulliver trapped on a all-female Liliput. I think that the real problem is that the majority of six foot tall women here in Detroit are dating guys shorter than they are. You don’t see alot of six foot couples around here. I’m the type of guy that STILL believes in chivalry. You know, opening doors for your lady, protecting your gal, cuddling with your bo on cold nights. Stuff like that. I look forward to your response.
Ciao,
Big Dee