Bedtime: 2:24 a.m.
Waketime: 8:30 a.m.
Goals for the day: Survive.
The floors are swept, the chili is crocking and the only things left to do include showering and making cookies. With four hours to go, I think I can handle it. I think.
Happy Christmas Eve Darling Ones!

Dear VH1 Classics,
I would just like to thank you for airing all seven episodes of the 7 Ages of Rock today. This was easily the best thing that could have happened to me today. See, VH1 Classics, I had to clean the entirety of Supergenius HQ today because in roughly 18 hours my family is [...]

Supergenius HQ smells like bacon and Newcastle. This is not a complaint.

Bedtime: 12:24 a.m.
Waketime: 8:40 a.m.
Goals for the day: Clean, clean, clean and put away all the books.
My goal today is to have Supergenius HQ in pristine condition so tomorrow when I get up all I need to do is cook my ass off, take a shower, and await the infestation. Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve, right? I’ve [...]

Bedtime: 1:50 a.m.
Waketime: 7:28 a.m.
Goals for the day: Move the mattress up into the still empty master bedroom, grocery shop, stay awake.
Instead of braving the shiny, ice-coated streets to go wrap gifts at the Barnes & Noble with FFJ, I Tibble-sat and spent the morning arguing with Cade, Nolan, and Liam about who was the [...]

So I finished Joshua Ferris’ Then We Came to the End. I was right it sucked from beginning to end. In fact the sucking got even worse at the end because it became sucking that thought it was clever which is the worst kind of sucking there is.
Sucks.
I’m still puzzled by why [...]

Bedtime: 2:04 a.m.
Waketime: 9:12 a.m.
Goals for the day: Finish what I started the upstairs is 3/4 clean, wrap gifts for the blind with FFJ, and pick sinuses out of face with clean fork.
My face is rebelling from all the dust, dander and cat hair I inhaled yesterday during clean-a-thon 2007. Good times, good times. I [...]

# of Dawson’s Creeks watched: 3
# of rooms cleaned: 0
# of potential freelance gigs lined up: 1
# of presents wrapped: All of them
Hey remember when wrapping paper used to be opaque and you couldn’t see through it? I miss those days.

Bedtime: 2 a.m.
Waketime: 8:24 a.m.
Goals for the day: Clean the upstairs, all of it — laundry room, Fortress of Solitude, my bathroom, my bedroom, and the still empty master suite.
Yes, during the next thirteen days of Christmas vacation I’m turning iwilldare.com into a Bridget Jonesesque diary of sorts. Come on, I don’t have anything to [...]

In the interest of fair and balanced reporting, I offer up a follow up this list of career suggestions. These are the plans I have come up with for my future and shared with my coworkers that have caused them to bark with laughter:

Art School: Apparently, according to Maria, art students don’t have mortgages.
Fiction Writer: [...]

Superman with Slam and Bam wall
Extreme Power Batman
A remote control robot

My nephews are going to think I am the best aunt ever.

8 Fairy Tales and their not so happy endings. I remember nobody ever believing me about the real ending to The Little Mermaid.

Sometimes I wish I was the kind of person who could just post a cryptic song lyric and the emoticon for puzzled and call it a day. But I can never seem to do that when there are all those words out there that I can use. If I were that kind of person I [...]

I was helping Mary Katherine Gallagher and Dougs with a must be done right this second or we will all die project. This was last week. But then they were finishing it up this morning telling me about the status, blah blah blah.
“I’ll go proof the sticker and the card,” Mary Katherine Gallagher said.
“I’ll [...]

Best episode of Dude Weather ever. Ever.