Comments on: Let this one be the last http://www.iwilldare.com/2008/03/24/let-this-one-be-the-last/ 1 part mean red + 2 parts don't give a damn Tue, 13 May 2008 10:19:29 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: The Other Mike http://www.iwilldare.com/2008/03/24/let-this-one-be-the-last/#comment-20875 The Other Mike Wed, 26 Mar 2008 16:15:56 +0000 http://www.iwilldare.com/2008/03/24/let-this-one-be-the-last/#comment-20875 As someone who has been the roommate (at the time, I was in hell, but not the roommate from there, it was complicated), I can say clearly that the 'liver' with someone bears a greater responsibility than the 'livee' (sorry, legalese jargon). In my situation, I was able to reduce my footprint on the homeowner to the size of a postage stamp and thus was able to stay beyond my initial need--but I was alone and self-correcting. My point is it is your sister's job to keep the stress on you (and now your other sister) to the barest minimum. Obviously, that will be difficult given her situation, however to ignore the stress created would have been far worse than confronting it and changing things. Now, you can re-stabilize and go back to being a supportive and helpful sister and aunt on terms you can handle; and your sister knows better what those terms are (and aren't), and she will have to continue to 'find herself' without abusing those newly discovered boundaries. It is part of life...a big part. You learn, you grow. You did fine. Best wishes to you and yours--Mike As someone who has been the roommate (at the time, I was in hell, but not the roommate from there, it was complicated), I can say clearly that the ‘liver’ with someone bears a greater responsibility than the ‘livee’ (sorry, legalese jargon). In my situation, I was able to reduce my footprint on the homeowner to the size of a postage stamp and thus was able to stay beyond my initial need–but I was alone and self-correcting. My point is it is your sister’s job to keep the stress on you (and now your other sister) to the barest minimum. Obviously, that will be difficult given her situation, however to ignore the stress created would have been far worse than confronting it and changing things.

Now, you can re-stabilize and go back to being a supportive and helpful sister and aunt on terms you can handle; and your sister knows better what those terms are (and aren’t), and she will have to continue to ‘find herself’ without abusing those newly discovered boundaries. It is part of life…a big part. You learn, you grow. You did fine. Best wishes to you and yours–Mike

]]> By: Thomas http://www.iwilldare.com/2008/03/24/let-this-one-be-the-last/#comment-20873 Thomas Wed, 26 Mar 2008 14:58:09 +0000 http://www.iwilldare.com/2008/03/24/let-this-one-be-the-last/#comment-20873 You did a selfish thing by asking to have your space back. "Selfish" does not always mean "bad". Your guilt means you love and care about your sister and the Tibbles, but self-preservation should be at the core. How can you help anyone if you hurt yourself. Nice spine, looks good on ya. You did a selfish thing by asking to have your space back. “Selfish” does not always mean “bad”. Your guilt means you love and care about your sister and the Tibbles, but self-preservation should be at the core. How can you help anyone if you hurt yourself.

Nice spine, looks good on ya.

]]> By: Edge http://www.iwilldare.com/2008/03/24/let-this-one-be-the-last/#comment-20859 Edge Tue, 25 Mar 2008 18:19:26 +0000 http://www.iwilldare.com/2008/03/24/let-this-one-be-the-last/#comment-20859 I've "come to the rescue" of family members in the past. It's a hard thing to do. Very hard. You did what was most important: gave her and her kids a place to go when they needed it most. Now, they can go where they can settle a bit longer, and without stressing you out. Believe me; you were far more important to her and the kids in the grand scheme of things than any other person with whom they may stay with from this point forward: you were the instrument of escape. I’ve “come to the rescue” of family members in the past. It’s a hard thing to do. Very hard. You did what was most important: gave her and her kids a place to go when they needed it most. Now, they can go where they can settle a bit longer, and without stressing you out. Believe me; you were far more important to her and the kids in the grand scheme of things than any other person with whom they may stay with from this point forward: you were the instrument of escape.

]]> By: phil http://www.iwilldare.com/2008/03/24/let-this-one-be-the-last/#comment-20855 phil Tue, 25 Mar 2008 00:49:41 +0000 http://www.iwilldare.com/2008/03/24/let-this-one-be-the-last/#comment-20855 it will all blow over.relax it will all blow over.relax

]]> By: Lerren http://www.iwilldare.com/2008/03/24/let-this-one-be-the-last/#comment-20852 Lerren Mon, 24 Mar 2008 18:01:42 +0000 http://www.iwilldare.com/2008/03/24/let-this-one-be-the-last/#comment-20852 Right on, peewee. The kids will be way better off being around other kids, and you'll be a better aunt down the road. Right on, peewee. The kids will be way better off being around other kids, and you’ll be a better aunt down the road.

]]> By: PeeWee http://www.iwilldare.com/2008/03/24/let-this-one-be-the-last/#comment-20851 PeeWee Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:56:15 +0000 http://www.iwilldare.com/2008/03/24/let-this-one-be-the-last/#comment-20851 You aren't a bad person because you like to live alone. And don't think of it as "I kicked them out", think of it as "I let them stay here for a couple of weeks". You aren’t a bad person because you like to live alone. And don’t think of it as “I kicked them out”, think of it as “I let them stay here for a couple of weeks”.

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