02.Jun.08 in There is no five
- Why do you always leave the cupboard doors open? Are they too heavy for you to close? Too busy to take 0.3 seconds out of your life to just shut the damn door? The next time I slam my head into one of those cupboard doors I am going to march right out here and kick your ass.
- Leaving your dirty clothes in the bathroom is gross. The laundry room is like half a step away from the bathroom, just throw them in there where they belong. In fact, I think if you worked at it, you could actually throw your dirty clothes into the laundry room without even leaving the bathroom!
- The bathroom downstairs is for guests, not a mail repository. Why do you have to open all the mail while you use the bathroom, that’s stupid. Can’t you just wait that extra three seconds it takes you to pee to see how much the electricity bill is? Also that box of your new business cards has been sitting on the floor next to the sink in there for like a week. That’s gross.
- The Rolling Stones? Again? You’ve been listening to them for over two hours. Can’t we listen to something from, oh, I don’t know, this decade?
- We are not letting one more book into this house until you take care of the other THIRTY-SEVEN that are lying about in a disorganized manner. Do you hear me? I’m not even kidding.
- Why do you insist on buying those Superhero stamps? Do you like adding extra postage? Do you think anyone even notices if you send them something with a Batman stamp on it? I doubt it. You’re weird.
- Put your shoes away. Oh is the front closet too messy? Well then clean it up and then put your shoes away.
- Are you even listening to me?
By Jodi Chromey {46 comments}
This post was tagged with: conversation, stamps, weirdo
bamboozlde
June 2nd 2008 - 3:39pm
i sure do enjoy your writing.
Jodi
June 2nd 2008 - 3:51pm
Are you being sarcastic?
Peabo
June 2nd 2008 - 4:02pm
Oh my god, well, this decides that we can never be roommates since our cabinet doors would never be closed, the downstairs bathroom would turn into the “mailroom” and, well, do we need to talk about books? I think not. And I can beat you on the gross clothing/bathroom–I have a laundry basket *in* the bathroom, but where do the clothes end up? *ahem* In the other sink. I don’t know why. I try not to put them there, but every weekend I find myself digging a week’s worth of assorted clothing off the counter and putting it…in the laundry basket two feet away.
And the shoes…..the walking space between my kitchen and living room is my location place of choice. Just the other day as I picked up TEN shoes from that spot I wondered “why can’t I put them away? WHY?”
shokkou
June 2nd 2008 - 4:43pm
Man. You need to shut that inner nag up and turn up the Stones. Your inner bohemian artiste shouldn’t have to put up with all that b!tching.
Jodi
June 2nd 2008 - 5:06pm
Shokku. you’re probably right. I’ll send the nag over to Peabo’s house sounds like she’s needed over there.
bamboozlde
June 2nd 2008 - 7:02pm
someday you’re going to have to learn to take a compliment. that was a wonderful post. you’ve had many wonderful posts. you are a good writer. i enjoy reading your writing. i have for many years. i would enjoy reading even more of your writing if you’d let me. you write well. nifty. spiffy. interesting. bueno. well done you. brilliant.
Jodi
June 2nd 2008 - 7:07pm
Are you making fun of me?
bamboozlde
June 2nd 2008 - 7:28pm
where’s the darned snark tag?
Jodi
June 2nd 2008 - 7:29pm
Are you trying to make me cry? Is that it?
bamboozlde
June 2nd 2008 - 7:41pm
you are so cool.
Jodi
June 2nd 2008 - 7:42pm
You are making fun of me! Hrmph.
bamboozlde
June 2nd 2008 - 7:45pm
and snarky. did i mention snarky?
Jodi
June 2nd 2008 - 7:46pm
I can’t argue with snarky, can I?
bamboozlde
June 2nd 2008 - 7:48pm
i think you have proven you can argue with just about anything.
Jodi
June 2nd 2008 - 7:49pm
I know, and none of you fuckers who read this Web site ever, ever argue with me. What’s wrong with you?
bamboozlde
June 2nd 2008 - 7:53pm
and you always have to have the last word.
Jodi
June 2nd 2008 - 7:54pm
Nuhuh.
bamboozlde
June 2nd 2008 - 7:58pm
yuhuh.
Jodi
June 2nd 2008 - 8:03pm
The person who is right should always get the last word.
bamboozlde
June 2nd 2008 - 8:04pm
well, of course. that makes absolute sense.
Jodi
June 2nd 2008 - 8:05pm
And we both agree that I’m right, right?
bamboozlde
June 2nd 2008 - 8:06pm
definitely.
Jodi
June 2nd 2008 - 8:10pm
Good, I’m glad that’s settled. Now stop making fun of me.
bamboozlde
June 2nd 2008 - 8:11pm
yes, ma’am.
Jodi
June 2nd 2008 - 8:21pm
Thank you.
bamboozlde
June 2nd 2008 - 9:11pm
you’re welcome, of course.
UH
June 2nd 2008 - 9:51pm
Both of you, to your rooms!
Jodi
June 2nd 2008 - 9:52pm
He started it!
bamboozlde
June 3rd 2008 - 6:51am
did not!
Jodi
June 3rd 2008 - 9:38am
stop touching me!
bamboozlde
June 3rd 2008 - 9:47am
moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom! jodi hit me!
Jodi
June 3rd 2008 - 9:49am
No one will ever believe you. I am much more of a kicker.
bamboozlde
June 3rd 2008 - 9:53am
karate jodi with kung-fu action kick. bring it chica.
Jodi
June 3rd 2008 - 10:34am
You realize I have a wingspan over six feet, don’t you?
bamboozlde
June 3rd 2008 - 10:40am
good thing i live over 300 miles away then!
Jodi
June 3rd 2008 - 10:42am
You can run but you can’t hide.
bamboozlde
June 3rd 2008 - 10:50am
oh, i can run _and_ hide. so there. take that. quid pro quo.
Jodi
June 3rd 2008 - 10:54am
that’s your second mistake.
bamboozlde
June 3rd 2008 - 10:55am
not that i’d have to run and hide because, you know, i’m a boy and you’re a girl which means you’re a doody-headed cootie-brain and neener neener neener.
Jodi
June 3rd 2008 - 10:56am
This is the internet, I could totally be a dude pretending to be a girl.
bamboozlde
June 3rd 2008 - 11:07am
but you’d still be a cootie-head.
Jodi
June 3rd 2008 - 12:32pm
Who you calling cootie-head, you lint-licker?
bamboozlde
June 3rd 2008 - 12:39pm
well… you? doody-headed poopy-pants! doody-headed poopy-pants!
Doug
June 5th 2008 - 1:17am
Batman? Why can’t we get a sheet of nothing but Green Lantern stamps?
Oh crap. I’m sounding like I really mean it, am I not?
It’s fine for the sheet to have both Batman and Green Lantern. Heck, even leave Green Arrow on there.
laurie
June 5th 2008 - 10:44am
I was wondering how that post had 44 comments-now I know! I sometimes get grossed out about the stuf I leave in my bathroom too!
Jodi
June 5th 2008 - 12:46pm
It has 44 comments because BamBam is a cotton-headed ninnymuggins.