- Why do you always leave the cupboard doors open? Are they too heavy for you to close? Too busy to take 0.3 seconds out of your life to just shut the damn door? The next time I slam my head into one of those cupboard doors I am going to march right out here and kick your ass.
- Leaving your dirty clothes in the bathroom is gross. The laundry room is like half a step away from the bathroom, just throw them in there where they belong. In fact, I think if you worked at it, you could actually throw your dirty clothes into the laundry room without even leaving the bathroom!
- The bathroom downstairs is for guests, not a mail repository. Why do you have to open all the mail while you use the bathroom, that’s stupid. Can’t you just wait that extra three seconds it takes you to pee to see how much the electricity bill is? Also that box of your new business cards has been sitting on the floor next to the sink in there for like a week. That’s gross.
- The Rolling Stones? Again? You’ve been listening to them for over two hours. Can’t we listen to something from, oh, I don’t know, this decade?
- We are not letting one more book into this house until you take care of the other THIRTY-SEVEN that are lying about in a disorganized manner. Do you hear me? I’m not even kidding.
- Why do you insist on buying those Superhero stamps? Do you like adding extra postage? Do you think anyone even notices if you send them something with a Batman stamp on it? I doubt it. You’re weird.
- Put your shoes away. Oh is the front closet too messy? Well then clean it up and then put your shoes away.
- Are you even listening to me?
Tags: conversation, There is no five, weirdo
Posted on Mon, 02 June 2008 at 12:24 pm
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i sure do enjoy your writing.
02 Jun 08 at 3:39 pm #Are you being sarcastic?
02 Jun 08 at 3:51 pm #Oh my god, well, this decides that we can never be roommates since our cabinet doors would never be closed, the downstairs bathroom would turn into the “mailroom” and, well, do we need to talk about books? I think not. And I can beat you on the gross clothing/bathroom–I have a laundry basket *in* the bathroom, but where do the clothes end up? *ahem* In the other sink. I don’t know why. I try not to put them there, but every weekend I find myself digging a week’s worth of assorted clothing off the counter and putting it…in the laundry basket two feet away.
02 Jun 08 at 4:02 pm #And the shoes…..the walking space between my kitchen and living room is my location place of choice. Just the other day as I picked up TEN shoes from that spot I wondered “why can’t I put them away? WHY?”
Man. You need to shut that inner nag up and turn up the Stones. Your inner bohemian artiste shouldn’t have to put up with all that b!tching.
02 Jun 08 at 4:43 pm #Shokku. you’re probably right. I’ll send the nag over to Peabo’s house sounds like she’s needed over there.
02 Jun 08 at 5:06 pm #someday you’re going to have to learn to take a compliment. that was a wonderful post. you’ve had many wonderful posts. you are a good writer. i enjoy reading your writing. i have for many years. i would enjoy reading even more of your writing if you’d let me. you write well. nifty. spiffy. interesting. bueno. well done you. brilliant.
02 Jun 08 at 7:02 pm #Are you making fun of me?
02 Jun 08 at 7:07 pm #where’s the darned snark tag?
02 Jun 08 at 7:28 pm #Are you trying to make me cry? Is that it?
02 Jun 08 at 7:29 pm #you are so cool.
02 Jun 08 at 7:41 pm #You are making fun of me! Hrmph.
02 Jun 08 at 7:42 pm #and snarky. did i mention snarky?
02 Jun 08 at 7:45 pm #I can’t argue with snarky, can I?
02 Jun 08 at 7:46 pm #i think you have proven you can argue with just about anything.
02 Jun 08 at 7:48 pm #I know, and none of you fuckers who read this Web site ever, ever argue with me. What’s wrong with you?
02 Jun 08 at 7:49 pm #and you always have to have the last word.
02 Jun 08 at 7:53 pm #Nuhuh.
02 Jun 08 at 7:54 pm #yuhuh.
02 Jun 08 at 7:58 pm #The person who is right should always get the last word.
02 Jun 08 at 8:03 pm #well, of course. that makes absolute sense.
02 Jun 08 at 8:04 pm #And we both agree that I’m right, right?
02 Jun 08 at 8:05 pm #definitely.
02 Jun 08 at 8:06 pm #Good, I’m glad that’s settled. Now stop making fun of me.
02 Jun 08 at 8:10 pm #yes, ma’am.
02 Jun 08 at 8:11 pm #Thank you.
02 Jun 08 at 8:21 pm #you’re welcome, of course.
02 Jun 08 at 9:11 pm #Both of you, to your rooms!
02 Jun 08 at 9:51 pm #He started it!
02 Jun 08 at 9:52 pm #did not!
03 Jun 08 at 6:51 am #stop touching me!
03 Jun 08 at 9:38 am #moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom! jodi hit me!
03 Jun 08 at 9:47 am #No one will ever believe you. I am much more of a kicker.
03 Jun 08 at 9:49 am #karate jodi with kung-fu action kick. bring it chica.
03 Jun 08 at 9:53 am #You realize I have a wingspan over six feet, don’t you?
03 Jun 08 at 10:34 am #good thing i live over 300 miles away then!
03 Jun 08 at 10:40 am #You can run but you can’t hide.
03 Jun 08 at 10:42 am #oh, i can run _and_ hide. so there. take that. quid pro quo.
03 Jun 08 at 10:50 am #that’s your second mistake.
03 Jun 08 at 10:54 am #not that i’d have to run and hide because, you know, i’m a boy and you’re a girl which means you’re a doody-headed cootie-brain and neener neener neener.
03 Jun 08 at 10:55 am #This is the internet, I could totally be a dude pretending to be a girl.
03 Jun 08 at 10:56 am #but you’d still be a cootie-head.
03 Jun 08 at 11:07 am #Who you calling cootie-head, you lint-licker?
03 Jun 08 at 12:32 pm #well… you? doody-headed poopy-pants! doody-headed poopy-pants!
03 Jun 08 at 12:39 pm #Batman? Why can’t we get a sheet of nothing but Green Lantern stamps?
Oh crap. I’m sounding like I really mean it, am I not?
It’s fine for the sheet to have both Batman and Green Lantern. Heck, even leave Green Arrow on there.
05 Jun 08 at 1:17 am #I was wondering how that post had 44 comments-now I know! I sometimes get grossed out about the stuf I leave in my bathroom too!
05 Jun 08 at 10:44 am #It has 44 comments because BamBam is a cotton-headed ninnymuggins.
05 Jun 08 at 12:46 pm #