It’s been many, many months since I’ve answered the googlers’ questions. I feel bad. All these people thirsty for information, and me hogging it all. Shame on me.

What happened to Aunt Jodi?
After Jimmy quit, she got married, you should have known they’d never get far. Oh, but when you look back now, that summer seemed to last forever. I bet if you had your choice, you’d want to be there forever because those were the best days of your life.

Should i post to Metafilter while drunk?
No. Not ever. Never. No. Unless, of course, you want the snarkiest of the snarky to unleash upon you. If you have the self-esteem of steel, then go for it.

What are the best Dawson’s Creek episodes?
These are the best episodes of Dawson’s Creek.

What is an dsl girl?
I would think it was a girl in possession of DSL, you know high-speed Internet. But then I am old and nerdy. According to the Urban Dictionary, DSL means dick-sucking lips. So maybe it is a girl in possession of those.

What tattoo should i get on the back of my neck?
“I ask the Internet dumb questions.”

Dare or glide?
Dare. Always dare.

Who sings the Sweet Valley High theme song?
Kathy Fisher

Will dare let me body groove?
Yes.

Do women still think it is daring to go topless?
Yes.

Are chocolate covered Nutter Butters better?
A kick in the head? Yes. Regular Nutter Butters? No.

What’s a cool thing to dare your bf?
To do the dishes.

Is there something wrong with the earth’s gravitational pull in the future?
Yes, everything is heavy.

What song says I would go out tonight but I haven’t got a stitch to wear ?
This Charming Man by The Smiths

What do you think of Candy Girl?
Total bullshit.

Who vandalizes Joey’s mural in Dawson’s Creek?
Matt Caufield.