You Are At The Archives for December, 2009

December 30th, 2009

Two things you should know on the eve before the eve of a brand new decade

My hair is so dirty it hurts. My entire body itches, all of it, even the inside of my nose.

December 29th, 2009

I still can’t talk about Stitches without crying

It’s not a good idea to write a review of a book when your eyes are still wet with the tears it caused you to shed. So I waited an entire day to see if the raw emotion evoked by David Small’s graphic memoir Stitches would abate a little before I told you about this [...]

December 28th, 2009

Things that can go the way of the dodo in 2010, part 1

I’m not one to make predictions being that I have such an abysmal record. For instance, “Nobody will ever stop reading the actual newspaper and get their news on the Internet.” Or, “Who wants a phone/calendar/PDA all in one, that’s dumb.” Jodi, the great prognosticator. It’s my penchant for picking the exact opposite of what [...]

December 27th, 2009

Everything Matters!

Even before he’s born, Junior is told exactly when the world is gonna end. He’s told, in utero that the world will end June 15, 2010 when he is just 36 years old after a giant comet smashes into Earth and obliterates life on the planet. Heavy. That’s how Everything Matters! by Ron Currie, Jr. [...]

December 25th, 2009

My Christmas 09 wish for you, darling ones

This is a picture of the beautiful, letterpressed Christmas cards I ordered on Etsy (and the White Violin from The Umbrella Academy, she lives on the window sill). This is also a picture I took roughly 20 minutes ago after having cracked the seal on these beautiful Christmas cards that were not sent out. Maybe [...]

December 23rd, 2009

Snow shoveling-masturbation corollary

The scrape and heft of someone shoveling snow always makes me think of masturbation. It’s a strange Pavlovian response, I know. But ever since I read this guy Nick’s story about a character who finds himself masturbating whenever his neighbor is out shoveling snow, I can’t get the image out of my head. I read [...]

December 21st, 2009

Quintessential dicklit

Nick Hornby is at his best when he writes about music. He has that inexplicable ability to convey what music means in a way that seems incredibly personal to him and yet universal at the same time. He’s so good when he writes about music that it often seems like he’s the first one to [...]

December 19th, 2009

Just what I wanted

Even though I babysit the Tibbles every Friday, I rarely get to see my nephew Cade. He’s at school by the time I get there and I leave before he gets home. Yesterday we passed briefly in the living room. He stood in front of me wrapped in his snow gear, backpack still affixed to [...]

December 17th, 2009

Dusting

You know the ceiling in the Supergenius HQ Great Room is like 20 feet high, don’t you? In the middle of that ceiling is a big, ol’ fan that spends most of the year covered in dust so thick the blades appear to be made out of fur. I had to dust that fucker today [...]

December 17th, 2009

Egalitarian Christmas

When I was a kid I was a present counter, strongly adhering to she who dies with the most toys win. Nowhere in the saying was there mention of the most-expensive toys or highest-quality toys. No, it was sheer quantity that mattered. Even though I have long grown out of my present-grubbing stage, I still [...]

December 14th, 2009

Smart women covet other women’s coffee mugs

I bought this Smart Women Desk Set for Sister #2′s birthday. I cannot remember the last time I bought a gift for someone that I so badly wanted to keep for myself. In fact, if I hadn’t already bragged how I wasn’t buying her books, I would keep this and hit up Sister #2′s wishlist. [...]

December 13th, 2009

Cookie Bitch

There is much controversy that swirls around the Holiday Cookie Bakeathon. This year, the 2nd annual, was rife with conflict much of it caused by last year’s bakeathon dubbed “The Great Snubbing of Aught-Eight.” Last year Sister #2 decided she’d ring in the holidays by baking cookies for all her family and friends. Then she [...]

December 12th, 2009

Totally Killer almost killed me

Note: If you want to see some discussion with the author of Totally Killer, head on over to this post on MN Reads I picked up Totally Killer by Greg Olear because of the cassette on the cover, which I spied on his Largehearted Boy Book Notes essay. There’s something in my genetic makeup that [...]

December 10th, 2009

How to annoy the hell out of everyone on the Internet: A follow-up

This a crabby, bitchy follow-up to How to Succeed in Blogging without Really Trying, and inspired in part by my own ire (I’ve been surfing a lot lately looking for blog topics for work) and this tweet from Barrett. Truncate your RSS Feed. Advertise in your RSS Feed while truncating it. Post only headlines in [...]

December 8th, 2009

The 10 most forgettable books of the decade

I spend a lot of time reading Best of the Decade lists, specifically the best books of the decade. These lists alternately make me feel smug & superior or stupid & silly. Some of the lists make me apoplectic and some of them I totally understand. Because most people are much nicer than I am [...]