How to annoy the hell out of everyone on the Internet: A follow-up
This a crabby, bitchy follow-up to How to Succeed in Blogging without Really Trying, and inspired in part by my own ire (I’ve been surfing a lot lately looking for blog topics for work) and this tweet from Barrett.
- Truncate your RSS Feed. Advertise in your RSS Feed while truncating it. Post only headlines in your RSS Feed
- Snap To previews. Are they paying you for that shit?
- Make the top half of your website, the part that fills the entire screen of a small laptop one giant image that doesn’t do anything, and make visitors spend a minute or so figuring out to scroll down for content.
- Tweet 7 – 15 times in a row, so that no matter what sort of Twitter client someone uses your annoying Mad Men avatar is all they see. Really, if you have that much to say at once, get a fucking blog.
- Post a Facebook status that you’ve seen as
105somebody else’s status. - Live Tweet anything.
- Post whiny, pointless lists that make you seem smug and superior.
- Use the word woot.
- A Flash site, really? What is this 2002? Knock it off already (and, oddly enough advertising agencies are the worst offenders of this nonsense).
- Endlessly tweet your four-square check-ins. I like you, but I don’t care where you are every second of the day.
- Resize my browser when I got your site.
Feel free to add your own.
Aaron
December 10th 2009 - 12:55pm
I love it.
Jodi
December 10th 2009 - 12:59pm
Thank you. I’m waiting to get kicked off the Internet for being a crabby ol’ bitch.
tam
December 10th 2009 - 2:11pm
Uh-oh…
I’ve been known to live tweet hockey games, tweet a few times in a several minute span, and I use the word “w00t” (yes, with the annoying zeros).
Does this mean you don’t love me anymore? *grin*
christa
December 10th 2009 - 2:59pm
Holy Crap! Barrett just referenced No. 9 almost verbatim about 10 minutes ago while looking at a Web site of a local ad agency.
david
December 10th 2009 - 4:34pm
I would add having sponsored Tweets in your Twitter feed (I just unfollowed two people this morning for that).
Barrett Chase
December 11th 2009 - 3:14am
Even in 2009, you still encounter ads that obscure the text you’re trying to read. That has to be one of the worst offenses I can think of. Also: videos that start playing automatically, obscure and “arty” navigation that’s difficult to figure out, horizontal scrolling, and top 100 lists that require hitting “next page” 17 times to get to #1.
I also hate the new trend of having information in video form only with no viable text option. Listen: there is no real way to “scan” video for useful information. You either watch it or you don’t. 99% of the time, I just won’t.
Jodi
December 11th 2009 - 2:07pm
I can’t believe I didn’t think of informational video content. I hate it too. I’m not an online video watcher really. Something has to be praised and linked to about 66 times before I’d deign to watch it.