1. I spend all my time lately thinking about The Family Fang, wishing I was reading The Family Fang, or reading The Family Fang. In the spare minutes I don’t spend in Fangland, I’m thinking about Ready Player One. It’s fall and the good books have arrived.
  2. So I bought a new shirt. It’s a shirt made specifically for tall men. I buy most of my clothes specifically for tall men because in the world of clothing tall women range from 5’6″ to 5’10″. I know. This shirt is the longest shirt I think I have ever owned in my entire life. I’m 6’5″ and most of it is torso. I got wiener legs, a torso as long as the Great Plains, and Go-Go Gadget arms. This shirt is so long that, if I had the thighs for it, I could go sans-pants and not worry about revealing anything I wouldn’t want to be revealing.
  3. Once again I was shunned by the MacArthur Genius grant people. This is about the 17th year in a row. As I usually do this time of year, I emailed Trip Shakespeare and blamed him. I pointed out that he obviously neglected to mention the fact that I learned to make cheesecake in his nomination forms.
  4. I was gonna talk a lot about my hair and how it’s becoming increasingly gray and that I’m almost forty. FORTY! But I’ve run out of attention span because I’m exhausted. I couldn’t sleep last night and when I did I was plagued by anxiety dreams about oversleeping and being late.