The Passion of the Paco: A day in the life of my 14-year-old cat

pacocopioletgreenarmchair7:14 a.m. Stands guard as I eat a bowl of Trix on the brown couch. He walks in front of the couch back and forth, back and forth. We are both a little surprised that I got out of bed before the coffee maker has begun making coffee.
7:26 a.m. Goes upstairs to sleep and snore in the loft
9:30 a.m. Comes down stairs to sleep on the quilt that’s folded up on the end of the blue couch. He has claimed the guilt as his own.
10:12 a.m. Crawls off the blue couch to come and sit on my right leg & arm as I attempt to work.
10:24 a.m. Moved due to my needing to go the bathroom.
10:27 a.m. Enrichos* my spot and I have to boot him, he flops on the quilt that sits on the blue couch. *Enricho (verb) to steal someone’s spot even though they are only going to be gone for a minute, a verbification of the name of a German foreign exchange student who stayed with our family when Sister #4 was a senior in high school and would steal your chair when you got up to go the bathroom before you even left the room.
11:58 a.m. Still sleeping on the quilt on the blue couch.
1:25 p.m. Still sleeping on quilt on the blue couch.
2:39 p.m. Jumps from quilt onto footstool where my feet rest, he stretches and puts a paw on my shin, then wanders off into the kitchen.
2:50 p.m. Comes out from the kitchen and settles on my right thigh and right arm, he stares with haughty derision every time I type enough to disturb his rest.
pacowordcount
3:11 p.m. Outsted from my right side because I can’t sit still any longer. After spending 32 seconds on the arm of the chair he takes up a new spot that finds him resting his front paws in the area of my right knee. This, at least, frees up my arm for vigorous typing which I’m gonna start doing vigorously as soon as I read these 88 Buzzfeed posts featuring lists of 20 things that might amuse me.
3:16 p.m. Revels in getting his head scratched while I wait for a file to open. Once it opens he spends the next two minutes rubbing his head against my hand in a manner that causes me to feel great guilt as though Paco is never given any affection at all. AT ALL!
3:29 p.m. Forced to move to the left side of the chair because I am fidgety. He makes his displeasure clear as he marches across my body to get to the other side of the chair.
3:32 p.m. While trying to Command+Tab to iTunes, Paco mistakes the accidental brushing of his head with affection and spends the next 90ish seconds rubbing his head against my hand making it difficult to type.
3:35 p.m. Booted from the chair when I decide I simply must have all three bootlegs from Westerberg’s Pantages show to finish writing this scene. You might call it procrastination, I call it good research. Paco calls it total bullshit.
3:48 p.m. Apparently disgusted by what can only be called procrastination, Paco perches on the blanket I recently finished crocheting and licks various parts of his body while I sit on the blue couch and move files from Enid to my big big external hard drive (as opposed to my passport drive/time machine).
4:05 p.m. Completes the licking/loafing, and wanders off into the kitchen
4:07 p.m. Returns from the kitchen and settles on my right leg as I move files from Enid to the external hard drive. He’s not gonna be happy because I’m moving in about two minutes.
pacobored
4:12 p.m. Forcibly removed from the blue couch for being annoying while I’m trying to forcibly eject the hard drive that doesn’t want to be ejected. He takes up residence on the footstool and scratches his ear before pondering going upstairs but just meowing his way over to the dining room and then into the kitchen.
4:18 p.m. Upon hearing me futz with the cookies Paco stands in the dining room and meows at my judgmentally before racing across the living room, jumping on the blue couch and then landing on the windowsill where he meows out the window, telling the world I am having another cookie. He jumps down and does a lap around the coffee table, and walks half-way up the stairs where he pauses, meows, comes back down, scratches at the brown couch, and then dashes back upstairs where he meows for a few minutes.
4:31 p.m. Once again takes up residence on the right side of my body. He is purring like a lawn mower.
4:35 p.m. Due to my need to secure my headphones to my head, Paco with much exasperation repositions himself on the arm of the chair. He looks back and glares at me before closing his eyes.
4:57 p.m. Somewhere not within eyesight. If I took off my headphones I’d probably hear him snoring in the loft.
5:52 p.m. Hearing me get up to preheat the oven Paco comes downstairs and watches me putz about the kitchen, when I come back to the La-Z-Grrl he sits on the floor in front of it pondering a pounce on my lap before going back into the kitchen.
5:55 p.m. Returns from the kitchen and snuggles into my right side. I sigh with much annoyance and he doesn’t seem to care at all. He just tucks his paws underneath his chest and stares, it seems, at my right breast.
6:20 p.m. Walks down my right leg, onto the footstool, and makes the small leap onto the blue couch. He settles into the quilt and ignores me due to my excessive fidgetiness.
7:12 p.m. Still sleeping on the quilt.
7:22 p.m. Nap on the quilt is suddenly & surprisingly interrupted by the arrival of BFK, Maddy & Lex, their most-adorable puppy. Paco, is not pleased with this development and spends a few minutes hissing at the fuzzy puppy before ambling upstairs.
pacoafghansquilt
7:54 p.m. Realizes Lex has left and comes downstairs where he settles on the end of the brown couch on top of the afghan I made for my mom. He looks very regal.
9:09 p.m. Leaves his perch on Mom’s afghan to go get, I think, a drink of water and returns right away .
10:01 p.m. Sleeping soundly on the afghan. My guess is in 30 minutes (or so) he’ll climb up on me begging for attention.
10:40 p.m. Climbs into my lap
10:41-10:47 p.m. Scratched behind the ears while he purrs. Once I grow bored, I life him over my head while whispering “I love you. I love you. I love you.” Then I bring him down and gently put him on the ground, and then he goes into the kitchen to eat.
10:55 p.m. Returns from the kitchen to take his spot on the quilt, or at least stand on the quilt while washing his face with a paw.
10:57 p.m. Sits down on the quilt to lick his tail.
11:02 p.m. Still cleaning himself.
11:17 p.m. Crawls back into my lap.
11:30 p.m. Ejected from my lap so I can go to bed. Paco remains downstairs when I go upstairs to do perform my pre-per business.
11:53 p.m. Joins me upstairs and crawls onto my right hip as I read The Orphan Master’s Son.
12:02 a.m. Leaves the room for unknown reasons. Does not return.

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