Is Jack Kerouac overrated?
Yes. I’ve read On the Road three times and still don’t like it. The Dharma Bums was unreadable.
Tweedy song about quitting job?
Dear Employer
How do I lose my virginity to my sister?
You don’t, unless you’re locked in the attic by your flaky mom and evil grandmother for like five years.
How to make an [...]
There is no five
9
Mar 10
Answering the Googlers’ Questions XIV: A few about books and only one about sex
12
Jan 10
Four wholly unrelated things I want to tell you
I.
On Sunday I made a creamy cauliflower soup. It involved pureeing and that frightened me. Plus, I had the divide the recipe in half, so there was math that also frightens me. It turned out delightful and silky and it is so good I’m a little sad that I didn’t have anyone to share it [...]
30
Dec 09
Two things you should know on the eve before the eve of a brand new decade
My hair is so dirty it hurts.
My entire body itches, all of it, even the inside of my nose.
28
Dec 09
Things that can go the way of the dodo in 2010, part 1
I’m not one to make predictions being that I have such an abysmal record. For instance, “Nobody will ever stop reading the actual newspaper and get their news on the Internet.” Or, “Who wants a phone/calendar/PDA all in one, that’s dumb.”
Jodi, the great prognosticator.
It’s my penchant for picking the exact opposite of what will [...]
10
Dec 09
How to annoy the hell out of everyone on the Internet: A follow-up
This a crabby, bitchy follow-up to How to Succeed in Blogging without Really Trying, and inspired in part by my own ire (I’ve been surfing a lot lately looking for blog topics for work) and this tweet from Barrett.
Truncate your RSS Feed. Advertise in your RSS Feed while truncating it. Post only headlines in your [...]
3
Dec 09
Answering the Googlers’ Questions XIII: In praise of the serial comma
Who is the blow job queen in MN?
I had no idea there was such a thing. I’m assuming there is some sort of pageant held at like the Radison in Roseville with contestants swapping tips on how to fight the gag reflex.
Is confusion caused by not using serial commas?
Yes. Oddly enough we were just talking [...]
1
Dec 09
Whining on a Monday, because Thanksgiving is over & I can get back to being a brat
The manager of Tires Plus called me. I missed his call.
Why? Because AT&T has a habit of not actually putting through my calls. Ziggy won’t even ring. No missed call notices. Nada. Oh, until like 3 hours after the call was missed. Then, and only then, will I discover two voicemails (sorry FFJ).
Also, Dawson [...]
3
Nov 09
A short list of stuff I used to love that I have officially broken up with
Dave Eggers
Wilco
Weezer
Chuck Klosterman
15
Oct 09
A few things about the past few days
I workshopped my ghost story again last night. The class was pretty evenly split on the whole second person vs. anything but second person and ghost vs. no ghost issue. I’m not sure what to make of that. But I do know my story and I’m keeping the second person and the ghost.
For the first [...]
30
Sep 09
Things I have to do today even though I don’t want to
Put on pants
Update my resume
Also, I dreamt the other night that I went to prom with Justin Timberlake. Not as a goofy teenager, no I went to prom as a goofy thirty-seven year old. Also, I had a bob. Also, Justin kept trying to take pictures of us with his iPhone so he could tweet [...]
8
Sep 09
On my DVR, a list so you can easily judge me
Saved on my DVR right this very moment are:
Grace of My Heart
Little House on the Prairie (it’s the very last episode that as far as I can remember I only saw once)
Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School
Scrubs (the musical episode)
Sky High
The Iron Giant
The Phantom Tollbooth
An Affair to Remember
Yeah, I watched all the embarrassing stuff yesterday.
21
Aug 09
I was an evil spirit ninja & other confessions from a busy writer
My writing class ended with a whimper last night. It was the first class I’ve taken since 2003 that didn’t involve at least one post-class, trip to Grumpy’s featuring tator tots and beer and book talk. I am tres disappointed. Boo!
The Tibbles are outside playing four square with Jaycie & Man. There are some draconian [...]
12
Aug 09
Some notes on the morning
The great paradox of my life? I balk at paying $6 for a bag of coffee that makes countless cups of coffee, but don’t bat an eyelash at paying $5 for a single cup.
Shakopee has been invaded by golf-loving freaks who wait in long lines to park at Canterbury and get on a bus that [...]
29
Jul 09
Sure signs that I am 37 going on 83
First, I took a catnap. Not just any old cat nap, but a 20-minute, unplanned catnap in the middle of day, while sitting in the La-Z-Grrl.
Second, it’s July and I just put on a sweatshirt because it was a little chilly in here, and not because I have the air conditioner set too low. [...]
21
Jul 09
These are the things I’ve been worrying about
What I want to be when I grow up. This question plagues me a lot. What I want to be is that person who lays around reading books or watching reality TV and gets paid a lot to do that. I can’t find a single want ad with that job description. In the meantime, I [...]
