pros:
- everytime al comes over and i’m listening quite loudly to self she says, “hey is this self?” while bobbing her head
- the artguy lets me tease him relentlessly about being old
- the minion doesn’t mind that i’m so bitter
- i have coworkers that laugh and laugh and laugh until they cry about the dysfunction [...]

the bossman has come up with an all new and exciting way to make me feel like complete shit. yes, we all thought that the not talking me for 3 weeks would be enough, or the not responding to my e-mail but no, that’s not it! now, whenever i talk to the artguy or the [...]

so the artguy was telling me about some opening event reception gala he went to. he told me how there were tons of tall people and i said he should invited me. then he made some other comment about making fun of everyone’s art. and i said, i would just make fun of the people. [...]

so yes, the day started out super great with a giant hug from my favorite frat boy, and even though the office politics encroached, when you get a hug first thing in the morning, not too many things can bring you down.
plus, the whole day just ended wonderfully. sometimes i forgot just how much fun [...]

“if i worked here, i’d have more attitude,” the minion said.
“what you’d be a real riot grrrrrrrrrllll,” the artguy said, sort of growling that grrrll part.
“yeah. don’t ever say that again,” she said.
“i bought siddhartha the other day, because my inner sensibilities need some fucking peace soon.”
“don’t writer’s usually get out of this business by [...]

“hi,” the artguy said as i sat down in my chair.
“hello,” i said.
“are you in a bad mood or something?”
“what? why do you ask that?” i said.
“well, you’re only cordial when you’re grumpy,” he said.
“gee, i’m glad i’m so transparent,” i said.
“it’s not bad.”
“yes, it is,” i said. “so you’re telling me i’m usually a [...]

clearly all the fun eye contact has sent my eyes into some sort of weird downward spiral of sorts. there’s an odd cloud floating over my left eye. i can’t seem to get rid of it. i have, of course, decided it’s glaucoma. what’s odd is i didn’t have the glaucoma when i left for [...]

“did you start using some new hair product or something?” the artguy asked standing outside my cube.
“i didn’t even wash my hair, why?”
“well, i came around the corner and i was pummeled with the scent of new hair product.”
“thanks for assuming it’s me,” i said. “it could be the minion.”
“i’m not a stinky minion,” she [...]

the artguy who has become my new best workfriendboy (much to the chagrin of my former new best workfriendboy webboy) is not here today. he’s hanging his new show. despite our inability to communicate on monday, we’ve been getting along famously. he’s my new favorite person to terrorize. it’s just so easy and so much [...]

how the fuck did it get to be 12:30. i swear i’ve only been sitting at my desk for about 10 minutes. being a big important nothing with all sorts of temp. workers to keep busy is hard work. and i hate saying anything is hard work because it makes me feel like a barbie [...]

when i wear these pants, i like to keep my swanky sara the cell phone in the pocket down there in the middle of my thigh. thing is she’s heavy enough to make my drawers sag noticeably on one side.
but that’s not the reason for this.
my friend the artguy just stopped by for a small [...]

i just had to have a very frank, heart-to-heart conversation with webboy. for those of you following along at home webboy is a co-worker who used to sit next to me until they moved him all the way over to the west side of the building. webboy and i had great fun all the time. [...]

THIS JUST IN: i think i have conned the artguy to move in next door. it probably won’t happen, because to move you gotta get a blessing from the pope AND the dali lama, but you know just the idea that he’s enterataining it is victory enough.

with the webteam vacating my premises, i’m kind of suffering empty next syndrome. now, suddenly i’m surrounded by three grey, dull, empty cubes. it makes me a little sad.
so i keep asking everyone who walks by if they want to move over here. so far, nobody has taken me up on the offer. i [...]

so the artguy actually invited me to another opening. i guess my performance at the last one wasn’t quite heinous enough to bar me from the invite list. this, it makes me feel good.