Dear World,
When you say, “Gee you look tired.” That is not what I hear. What I hear is:
“You look like so much stink that I can actually see the stink lines emanating from your stinky, stinky body. You are not pretty. In fact you are generally ugly and you should try to get some beauty [...]

There are lots of things I will tell you about last night, if I ever fully wake up and can completely open my eyes. This time will come, however, it is not right now.
Right now is for grunting at co-workers and listening to Lloyd Cole’s “Are You Ready to Be Heartbroken?” on repeat. But [...]

All my life I’ve wanted to be a music geek. I try really hard, but just the fact that I have to try at all means I’m totally not a music geek.
I don’t let my non-geekness stop me from pretending like I am one. From what I can tell on the outside looking in, [...]

MINNEAPOLIS (AP) — Twin Citians were surprised last night when a sudden tropical heat wave left residents springing from their beds to see what was the matter. Residents from as far away as Hopkins flew to their windows in a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
“It was really strange,” Sven Sundgaard [...]

In class on Thursday we workshopped a story that had a wonderful premise. In the story a man is afflicted with all the diseases ever, a condition called Itisitis. With the Itisitis comes a superpower, the ability to give it away. Anyway, like I said, the premise was pretty kick ass.
So, as it often [...]

“Okay, no Vodo, no bitchy, none of that,” Vodo said as he sat down in the booth across from me, pointing a finger in my direction. “He’s new, this is his first Grumpy’s experience. Be nice.” The he, that Vodo was referring to, was one of his new, adorable acolytes. Incidentally, many of Vodo’s acolytes [...]

Sometimes I don’t know where to begin. I obsess over first lines. I did it when I was a reporter, I do it now. I cannot start any short story until I’ve got the first line. Once I get that line, I’m off. But birthing that initial sentence is tough. I’m frozen until it’s written.
I’m [...]

It seems that everytime the Writers gather at Grumpy’s we break into some kind of music-related debate. This is because I like to argue and make people debate me. It’s fun. Really.
Last night I made everyone play the ‘favorite’ game. This is a game whereby you have to choose a favorite song by some venerable [...]

Tonight, Max noticed the top of our receipt. Someone asked, “How did she know we were writers?”
“Because we’re nerds,” Max said.
And we totally, totally are. Because only a bunch of nerds would get that excited over a receipt.

If I had a nickname (aside from jodichromeysupergenius), it would probably be The Nicknamer. Apparently I am getting quite a reputation as she who blesses people with nicknames. Last week I had someone I met for the first time demand a nickname.
Some of my writing ‘mates are begging for nicknames, and I feel guilty [...]

Dear Vodo,
Sometimes I feel bad for giving you so much shit Vodo, darling. Every once in awhile, I think that maybe I should let up on what a horrible teacher you are and how you pull my hair and make me cry. But I don’t ever want to be one of your doe-eyed sycophants. Not [...]

Jags was telling us how she and her husband talked about their daughter’s desire to be a singer. Her husband quickly listed off all the daughters musical attributes and the instruments she plays. Jags said, “Yeah, and she’s pretty.”
Which, from what I can tell lead to a debate about how male rockstars don’t have to [...]

I’ve spent the last hour or so, listening to and singing out loud to heartbreaking break-up songs on my favorite set of headphones and watching “Valley Girl” on mute. Incidentally, did anyone, ever really spike the punch at a school dance? (double-plus bonus points if anyone can name the Valley Girl/Paul Westerberg connection)
I am neither [...]

It’s no secret that Kelly and I have nicknames for virtually everyone in class. I should, right now, take the blame for most of this. I have nicknames for virtually everyone in my life — Boo, Peanut, Nolie Bugs, Pudding Pop, the Stink . . . and that’s just my family.
So last night [...]

There’s a scene in the movie “Mean Girls” where the unmean artsy girl catches Lindsay Lohan having a big party with the popular kids. Artsy girl is totally pissed and hurt. She pokes her head out of the sunroof and shouts at slutted-up Lindsay, “did you have an awesome time? did you do awesome shooters [...]