Entries Tagged as 'boring enormous'

Here is how it is

One day you’re leaping from bed at 11:37 on a Thursday barely-morning because you’re supposed to meet someone for lunch at noon and the next thing you know it’s Friday. And it’s May.
In between there was lunch, a call from your former boss that made you laugh so hard your throat hurt, talking about writing, [...]

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Cheater, cheater pumpkin eater

Crap Nablo, I am cheating again. When your brain has turned to mush because you’ve napped too much and watched too much bad TV it’s hard to remember what day it is and whether or not you’ve posted something.
I was gonna write about books today but then I decided my time was much better [...]

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Sick pleasures

The one good thing about being sick? You can do all those things you really want to do on a Saturday but always feel guilty doing because you should be out there Carpe Dieming the hell out of life.
But when you have a cold you can crawl into bed at 5 p.m. with your [...]

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I can feel it coming in the air tonight

“You have garlic at home, right?”
“Yes, like a whole bulb.”
“Okay, here’s what you do. Slice ‘em up and swallow them like aspirin.”
“Just wash them down with water?”
“Yeah.”
“How many?”
“I don’t know. I usually do two or three, a few times a day.”
“Are you kidding?”
“No. It works.”
“I’d rather have the cold, thanks.”

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Jodi@35

My name is Jodi. I was so enamored with my name as a child that I wrote it on everything (doors, walls, etc.) it got me into a lot of trouble
I eat pancakes with peanut butter on them, and prefer to wash it all down with an icy cold Diet Coke with Lime
I fancy myself [...]

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Let it be known

That on this, the 24th day of May in the 2007th year of our Lord that one, jodichromeysupergenius, arrived at work before 8:30 a.m. Slackers everywhere weep in fear of losing their queen. But I promise you, slackers, with God as my witness that I will never be early again. At least not of my [...]

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I need to change my password

Because I like to use the same password of everything
– Atomic
Yeah, wow. Nothing can quite curdle your stomach like seeing someone else posting on your very own website. Even now, after changing every password I could think of, I still feel a bit gross and violated.
Blech.
Be ye not stupid. Change your passwords often [...]

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Full of acid

So I went to the doctor this morning. It appears that my stomach full of flames is not caused by Blue Öyster Cult. Nor is it caused by being a mean, mean hateful bitch, but by having too much acid in my stomach (aka acid indigestion). She patted me on my head told me to [...]

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Sick & Silent

For the past two days my stomach has been burning for, burning for, burning for me. I blame Blue Öyster Cult. Al, the cutest girl on earth™ and I have decided it’s either stomach cancer or a bleeding ulcer. We got our medical degrees out of Cracker Jack boxes.
I promised her if the burning [...]

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Concealing my secret identity

When I arrived at the eye doctor’s office today I was most disappointed that Dr. Love would not be attending to my eye-care needs. Last year when I went for my exam, I had a strawberry-blond cutie with swanky glasses asking me which one was clearer 3 or 4 or 3, okay how about 4 [...]

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I need a favor and I hate asking, but well . . .

First of all, I just went to the bathroom and noticed my hair. I look like I just rolled out of bed. What is wrong with me?
Second of all, Okay, second of all I need a favor. I hate asking for things, as you well know, but here I am. As some of you may [...]

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Odds on that

What are the odds that you would get two text messages within three minutes of each other from two different people proclaiming the awesomeness of their new tattoos? I’d place the odds at like 83 kajillion to one. Seriously. It seems I know two people who just got tattoos at the exact same time! They [...]

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No babies for me or, what’s really been bugging me

Last week one of my friends told me he/she is expecting a new baby. No names, unfortunately, because he/she is not ready to divulge such information. I, of course, am so excited that I want to shout it from the rooftops.
Today my much-missed coworker Maria brought in her two-month-old twin boys, Hunter and Noah. [...]

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Glints in the night, commas and ampersands: someone got a new tattoo

Did you know you’re not supposed to take pictures of the flash at tattoo parlors? They’re afraid that you’re gonna steal the designs and then take them to another shop to get inked. FFJ and I learned this only after I had taken the picture. So if you decide that you too simply must have [...]

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Years of prayers, finally answered

For the past four or so years I have been complaining bitterly about the pink greenbag Starburst jellybeans that taste like dishsoap.
It was a flavor abomination akin to the Lemon-scented Pledge flavored yellow Starburst. That damn dishsoap jellybean harshed my euphoric Easter candy buzz.
However, I am glad to report that after downing the very [...]

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