“Oh let her bowl,” Craig mouthed to me.
“No,” I shook my head at him.
The man and his six-year-old daughter took one last look at the lanes filled with smoking and drinking men, and then left.
“All she wanted to do was bowl,” Craig said.
“So?”
“You’re mean!”
“I am,” I said. “But I am not going to stay here [...]

Somehow through the power of her feminine wiles, Sister #2 conned Dad into getting us a wireless router at the bowling alley. As I type this I get to ignore bowlers begging for beer. Generally I only get to ignore them with books and short stories, now I have a whole new toy to entertain [...]

It’s usually not until the 8th frame that people start to notice. Six in a row is worth a free beer and happens often enough that nobody really says anything. Unless, of course, it’s their first free beer. It doesn’t matter to me if it’s their first or their 21st, I always smile really big [...]

“i got up really early today,” max said, settling on the barstool next to me. he propped his elbow onto the bar and put his head in his hand. “so i’m really tired.”
“why’d you get up so early?” i asked.
“i tried to trap a leprechaun.”
“what?”
“i wanted to catch a leprechaun.”
“why?”
“because i never met a leprechaun [...]

since every sister, my mom, and tony were busy bowling and/or keeping score for the SJBT on saturday (the stink was in class, lucky fucker), i was left to serve beer to 32 bowlers and keep one eye on my niece and nephews (all five of them). i’ve never had my ass kicked so hard [...]

it’s not often that i get a chance to hang out with sister #3’s children, at least when she’s not around. she has decided that her three boys are entirely too much for me to handle. sometimes i think she might be right, but after spending friday night not only catering to the beer, [...]

“hello dan patch lanes,” i said into the phone as i made change for opie’s bud light.
“hi,” a nine or ten-year-old boy said. “do you have ummm, ten-pound balls?”
“yes, we do,” i said.
“oh, ummm,” he said. there were giggles in the background. “it’s a girl,” he said to the gigglers. “ok, thanks.’
ha!

“i haven’t been laid in three months,” she said. she had big buggy blue eyes and (according to kent and craig) a huge rack. “and i have a live in boyfriend!”
“what?” i asked, looking up from my homework.
“i haven’t been laid in three months. i think it’s tiem to find someone else to fuck. what [...]

now i have photographic evidence of how much Nolie loves the Beatles Singing Bear. while i babysat yesterday we must have played that bear about 320,918 times. both Nolie and Cade are getting pretty good at singing along.
i had to babysit yesterday because of the awful, no-good, very bad friday. friday, which started out [...]

kent has this theory about women in the bowling alley on friday nights. he postulates that if certain women, predominantly the significant other, of a bowler comes into the bowling alley on friday night the bowler will bowl poorly. this, of course, does not apply to Gordy. because his wife elaine, has been sitting on [...]

for someone who feels like they didn’t do a damn thing today i sure as hell was busy doing it. the moment i left work, i turned to partner and said “i don’t think i did a damn thing today, but i wasn’t bored at all.”
only two more days of work until the Milwaukee/Chicago event [...]

when you burst into tears at work before lunch on a monday, you can pretty much guarantee the week’s not gonna go so swell. add to that the thought that your favorite co-worker will no longer be your co-worker, and, well, you get a small picture of my absolutely shitty week. i thought, however, that [...]

“lord of the rings is cool, dawson’s creek is nerdy,” the TTHM.
“so you’re kind of a nerd, right?” a bowler at the tournament yesterday.
“why don’t you fucking marry her?” nine-months pregnant sister #3 to her husband after he complimented my new dye job.
“i bet it’s all my tips that paid for the hair do,” another [...]

there is a special spot in the hell for the people who sign up to bowl a 9 a.m. shift during the Sloppy Joe Bowling Tournament, only to not show up. i got my ass out of bed at 7 a.m. for the those fuckers. but, at least, now i can take a nap before [...]

despite the snowing, i came into work. there wasn’t a lot of snow, not enough snow worthy of not coming in, when i left for work. and since i didn’t want to be known as the slackery wonderwuss, i came in. i’m beginning to wonder why. . . the office is like a ghost town [...]