darling ones, i’m going to share a hard-learned lesson with you so you never repeat my mistakes.
when making a grilled cheese sammich using the george forman lean mean grilling machine, don’t ever use cheddar cheese. see, as the cheese heats up it just gets all melty and slides right off the bread into the little [...]

i am here to report that Hawaiian Punch in the 20 oz bottles doesn’t taste nearly as good as the Hawaiian Punch in the gallon drum that i usually drink from Cocktail Glasses. it’s a shocking disappointment. here i was all set to get my sugar high with some tropical fruit starburst and hawaiian punch. [...]

jeanluv asked for the recipe to my chili. remember, she asked for it.
jodi’s super special chili
ingredients:
2 pounds ground meat of choice (i use turkey, but you could use beef or venison if you so choose)
1 largish can of tomato sauce
1 mediumish can of dized tomatoes (perferably the kind that comes with the green chiles in [...]

as of yet, nobody has convinced me that orange peanut m&ms and diet coke are not a proper breakfast food. i almost went for the chicken in a biskit, but who has chicken for breakfast? so i opted for the orange peanut m&ms.

woe is me, i have too much spooj in my hair. it’s the control[D] subtance™, green snot-looking spooj.
really, it’s such a delicate balance. too little spooj and my hair takes on a life of it’s own overpowering what little spooj i put in there for control. really, my hair is just mocking me and [...]

some people actually use the headrests in cars to rest their heads. a foreign concept to me, being as well, it usually comes to my shoulder blades.
the new denny’s ad. . . ok so they’re celebrating the 25th anniversary of the muppets and denny’s grand slam breakfast. the grand slam is two fluffy hotcakes, two [...]

if it weren’t for donut holes and midol, there really would have been no point in getting out of bed this morning.

i am happy to report that i do believe the dirt devil and i will have a long, happy, vacuuming life together. it’s a lean, mean, green, sucking machine. plus it has a “brilliant headlight.” i think i need to get a job at dirt devil so i can come up with such labels [...]

holy hannah! i just got my phone bill for the month and i am having a heartattack. it says my long-distance for the month is $232.35!
i know it’s a mistake, it has to be a mistake. there’s no way in hell that 297 minutes of calls can cost $232, right? that’s like 78 cents a [...]

you read this:
WARNING: Do not use in situations where personal safety could be endangered. Never use this product to secure large flat surfaces or objects that could “airplane.” Misuse could result in serious injury or death.
and think, dude they don’t want you to use this for bondage. how kinky!
not that i was thinking that [...]

most every woman i know understands the roll salt and sugar play in keeping her sanity during her monthly bout with menstruation.
today that delicate balance of sugar and salt intake has saved my life.
for me the salt/sugar combination must come in the from of potato chippy products and m&ms. in a pinch doritos [...]

my new purse arrived today. i am please and happy to announce that it’s working out wonderfully.
i must admit i was a little bit worried about starting this relationship on the internet. it’s not the usual way i go about my purse purchases. the internet makes it just so easy to be deceptive. flaws [...]

in lieu of cooking i decided it would be a really good idea to have cheese and crackers for dinner. and well, the crackers are kinda big. if you bite them in half you got the other half landing in a pile of crumbs on your chest. so being the uberclass babe that i am, [...]

i went to the Galleria over lunch. this was not my choice, i went with kari so she could get a gift for her sister’s bridal shower.
the galleria is a far and distant planet from the one i inhabit. it’s a chi-chi, upscale, snootyfest. very trendy, very monied, very weird. but, i must admit a [...]

i was just eating a bunch of grapes that were supposed to go into the fruitsalad i am bringing to the the big BBQ, the BBBQ if you will. you know, grapes taste nothing at all like grape jelly. why is that?