Watching Garfield with Liam, who is four.
“Garfield is not funny,” I said.
“Yes, he is,” Liam said.
“Nope, he’s never been funny. Not even in 1984.”
“LAME!”
“Garfield’s lame, not me,” I said.
“Garfield is a cat who acts like a human,” he said, laughing at the TV. “That’s always funny.”
Posts Tagged: conversation
5
Feb 10
How to adequately judge what is funny
1
Feb 10
Vodo & The Big Ticket
Okay, here’s a confession. Even though I was surrounded by a dozen or so intelligent readers and writers at Hypster Mom’s Lit Salon, the only thing I wanted to talk about was Vodo & The Big Ticket. And now as I’m typing this I have no idea why I didn’t take a picture. I wrote [...]
24
Jan 10
The validity of eye witness accounts
Yesterday I rode to Rock & Roll Bookclub with Jaycie, Ben, and Max. I’m not sure how we got on the topic but Max was waxing eloquently on the awesomeness of MonsterQuest and how I should spend my time watching it.
“Eh,” I said from the front seat, “It’s not my thing.”
“But they talk about Sasquatch,” [...]
10
Oct 08
Of all the questions to blow
The interview was winding down, when one of my interviewers asked a final question.
“What’s the best 49 cents you ever spent?” he asked.
“Wow,” I said, and cocked my head to the side to think. “Gee. . .”
“This is a softball one,” he said.
“Huh.” I said. “I don’t know.”
“Paul Westerberg’s 49:00,” he said.
“Oh man!” I screeched. [...]
21
Sep 08
Your brain without a time clock
I have to do two things outside Supergenius HQ tomorrow. Just two things, two relatively simple things: grocery shop (because I’ve eaten all the food I’d really ever entertain eating and the only stuff left is that which will only be eaten in case of an apocalyptic event that prevents any sort of pizza delivery [...]
19
Sep 08
Down to orgasms or booze
Sometimes I think being grumpy is like the universe’s revenge on you for having a good day. Yesterday was a good day. The kind of day where I trusted my instincts (with some help from Sister #2) and decided to not chase a job that I was pretty sure I didn’t want. The whole ordeal [...]
11
Sep 08
Not all productive members of society wear bras
This morning I had coffee and, eventually, lunch with some former co-workers. It was probably the best thing I’ll do all week. I feel like I should pay them all whatever the going rate for a therapist is. Three of our group of five are still unemployed and looking for work.
“I freak out about [...]
10
Sep 08
Conversations at my house on Wednesday ususally go something like this
Me: Do you have to go potty?
Nolan: No
Me: Then why do you keep holding your penis?
Nolan: Because there is a mouse down there.
Me: Okay, just checking.
9
Jul 08
Moonlighting
“Can you guys be really quiet while I make a very important phone call?” I asked the Tibbles.
“Why you gotta call?” Cade asked.
“It’s about a job.”
“Why do you need a job?”
“So I can make some money.”
“But what about being our aunt?” he asked.
“I’ll still be your aunt.”
“That’s your job, being our aunt.”
“It doesn’t pay that [...]
5
Jul 08
On time travel, lesbian dreams, and bus stops
Yesterday, in honor of our nation’s Independence I decided to travel back in time. I don’t go back to Blaine, the suburb I grew up in, very often. Something about the area doesn’t feel right and it makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. Last night as Sister #4 and I were driving home [...]
25
Jun 08
High-falutin’ talk about art and artists
Last night at Grumpy’s, Jags, No Nickname Amanda, and I had a conversation about Art, Artists, and whether you can go on enjoying the art if you find out something really gross about the artist. I am not sure how we got on this topic, but it had something to do with Joni Mitchell and [...]
2
Jun 08
Arguments I have with myself as if I were my own nagging spouse
Why do you always leave the cupboard doors open? Are they too heavy for you to close? Too busy to take 0.3 seconds out of your life to just shut the damn door? The next time I slam my head into one of those cupboard doors I am going to march right out here and [...]
31
May 08
That’s what the kids are calling it
“I learned about human growth and development,” Jaycie said at 7:20 this morning, a mere five minutes after she arrived.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“It means getting my. . . ” she started in her normal voice and then suddenly dropped down to a whisper., “period.”
“Oh,” I said.” “I didn’t realize they had a new name for [...]
30
Apr 08
Grandma’s minion
Nolan was sitting on my lap, facing me. I was singing “Six Little Ducks” and had just gotten to the “quack quack quaaaaaccckkk” part which is my favorite.
“Why don’t you got any kids?” he asked.
“What?” I said.
“You should have some kids,” he said.
“Did Grandma tell you to ask me that?” My parents’ babysit the tiniest [...]
29
Apr 08
It seemed like a perfectly normal decision to me
She cocks her head to the side and looks up. “Is that. . . Blue Oyster Cult?”
I jump from my chair and lunge for my bag. “Yeah. I changed my ring.”
“To Blue Oyster Cult?”
“Mmmhmm.” I shake my head yes and press the ignore button to make my phone shut up. “It was either that or [...]
