Naughty cookie cutters. Sweet. [via]

i think kathleen turner overdrive is mocking me. playing ‘turning japanese’ right after ‘makin’ whoopee!’ yeah, even my iPod thinks it’s funny that i can’t seem to get laid.

UPDATE: now, instead of sleeping with the first person to sing “Lay Lady Lay,” i plan on sleeping with the first person to sing Prince’s “The Most Beautiful Girl in the World.” what song could i sing to you to sleep with you? you know, if you were that easy.

it’s 9p.m. quitting time for this hard working girl. my back is killing me. “one more day, one more day” is my mantra. they’ll need great gobs of luck getting me to do anything too taxing tomorrow. let ‘em sweat it themselves, maybe they’ll realize just how much i do. or not.
with the new size-smaller [...]

the nytimes featured an article on Sex and the College Newspaper today. at first i thought, “hrmph, i wish i could have written that column for my college newspaper.” then i got to thinking, what in the hell do a bunch of 20 year olds really know about sex?
but then i thought that maybe i’m [...]

Whenever I hear the game Super Mario Brothers, I think about sex. I think about the night I lost my virginity and I think about margaritas.
It was a Monday night in early 1994. Yes, I remember it was a Monday night. I cannot remember the exact date, just a margarita Monday in the winter of [...]