Last night I dreamt I went shoe shopping with the members of Green Day. They were not very nice to me. However, the shoes were really cool.

There was a great flood. I think that maybe the Minnesota River had overflown its banks and flooded most of Shakopee. I had to jump from a plane with a parachute to get anywhere. When I got home, Kurt Vonnegut was sitting at the dining room table in Supergenius HQ. He was using my old [...]

If we had a nickel for how many times I’ve randomly shouted (both outloud and in my head) “Time to play B sides, time ain’t on my side, time I’ll never know” we could all go out for ice cream on me.
I suppose if you’re gonna have a Blue Oyster Cult song stuck in [...]

I’m sitting in the Dunn Bros in EP at a table for five, alone. The place is pretty busy and each new coffee drinker who spies me sitting at the table shoots me a dirty look. I want to prop up a sign that says I am waiting for four other people to join me, [...]

So I was on the Dating Game but instead of three bachelors, I had a bachelor and a bachelorette. One was Prince and the other was Liz Phair. They answered all my questions with each other’s dirtiest lyrics. As the game progressed they went from speaking the lyrics to singing the lyrics. Even in dreams [...]

Last night I had a dream that involved Peabo, The Deets, my friend Mike, the flooding Minnesota River, and Vodo being on called ‘The Vodo’ on TV.
Also, the most disturbing part of the dream? I gave birth to a baby boy who I decided to name Randl Fiction. Yeah. Not only did I spell [...]

This might come as a surprise to a lot of people coming from the woman who calls her web site I Will Dare, but I don’t have sexual, groupie-like feelings towards Paul Westerberg. In fact the thought of it kind of oogs me out.
So now you’ll understand my general feeling of heebie-jeebieness with regards to [...]

My body has decided that no matter what time we crash and burn that 7:30 is a perfectly reasonable hour to be awake. To make matters worse my subconscious has decided that we’re really worried about our last day of work so we keep having last-day-of-work anxiety dreams.
Last night’s featured Jen from Dawson’s Creek and [...]

Dear Internet,
You will be happy to know that after four days of nothing but The Hold Steady, I am forcing myself to listen to something else. This has everything to do with the odd sex dream I had about Craig Finn/Rex from Fimoculous (my subconscious on more than one occasion has decided that Craig/Rex are [...]

I woke up in the early pre-dawn morning to find my left hand firmly wrapped around a penis. Huh, I thought to my half-asleep, half-awake self, I don’t remember that being here when I went to bed. For a moment I fell back to sleep only to dream about Liv Tyler in my bed, and [...]

It is clear to me that I have huge guilt about the book burning. Sure I didn’t like the book, but still. . .
So this morning during my mid-morning nap I dreamt that a tornado struck my house and sucked all my books out of the house, depositing them wet and twisted around the [...]

I fell asleep this afternoon while reading some story in the sorely disappointing Best American Short Stories 2007. While asleep I dreamt that I was cleaning my teenage bedroom when Jim Walsh and Mike Doughty just happened to stop by. They each took a seat on my king size waterbed and I started begging them [...]

Last night I dreamt I went to Cub with Walter Mondale and Hilary Clinton to purchase ingredients to make soup. Once we got there they both decided they wanted chicken noodle even though we had all agreed earlier we’d make creamy chicken wild rice. Things did not go well and I called Walter Mondale a [...]

WARNING: This is rated R for crassness and sacrilegiousness.
So yeah, the dream. Dude, I think I might need to seek some help. Last night I dreamt I was some sort of odd medium who had to rid a house of ghost.
How did I do this? By walking around the house sans pants with a [...]

First I dream about Jason Kottke, and then last night I dreamt (dreamed? both look wrong) that after sitting on my front stoop watching giant spiders trap and eat giant flies, I was late for feng-shuing Aaron’s office. Nevermind that I know nothing about either.