10:30 pm, 11.Jun.05 · 7 Comments

“i have this feeling that there’s gonna be something in our popcorn,” max said. he, jaycie, and i had just piled into Ruby and were on our way to “Madagascar.”
“what?” i asked.
“i don’t know,” he said. “i just have a feeling that there might be something in our popcorn.”
“there’s not going to be anything in [...]

2:16 pm, 19.Apr.05 · 8 Comments

this is kathy and her inside-out pajamas. she had run out of cans of budweiser so we gave her a new castle. she poured the beer, took a sip and then proclaimed “it’s like you people are from another planet.”
before i go any further, i just want to say that if i reach 59 and [...]

5:12 pm, 23.Oct.04 · 6 Comments

I spent a lot of time last night reading Lucy Grealy’s Autobiography of a Face. This is Grealy’s memoir of her life living with her face which was disfigured by a cancer that caused doctors to remove half of her jaw. The jaw removal happened when Grealy was like 10 or 11, she spent her [...]

12:33 am, 17.Oct.04 · 2 Comments

I had just put down Autobiography of a Face, took off my glasses, and turned off the light. I was amazed that it was only 12:20 and I was ready to sleep. As I slid down the pillows and pulled my legs up to curl into my favorite position, I thought just how nice it [...]

1:16 pm, 06.Aug.04 · 6 Comments

one of the problems with taking classes at the loft is that it’s located in the Open Book building which is about three eyelashes away from the Metrodome where the Twins play (that’s baseball for people who really don’t care about such things). Whenever there’s a home game, parking tends to get quite nightmareish around [...]

7:01 pm, 01.Mar.04 · 1 Comment

A few weeks ago the TTHM and I were arguing about something. The specifics of which, I can’t completely recall. But it was something to the effect that I only write about him when he’s hurt me and never write about when he makes me happy.
My immediate and snarky comebacks included ‘because you don’t,’ ‘it’s [...]

4:48 pm, 29.Feb.04 · Comments Off

As a writer I carry my words in my pocket like some sort of mystic. They are easily accessible, allowing me to draw on my powers in times of need. But these past two weeks, my powers have been useless. In times where I need my amulets the most, I am left with two rather [...]

4:52 pm, 05.Oct.03 · 3 Comments

Act I
He doesn’t want to break my heart.
I know this, because he told me. In fact, he tells me all the time, every time we see each other. I don’t want him to break my heart either, so I guess we have that in common. As I sit at the end of my couch watching [...]

4:47 pm, 14.Jul.03 · 2 Comments

One of the most valuable lessons in my life, I learned in driver’s ed. I didn’t realize this until Thursday, when I was blurting it out to the TTHM.
“Jodi Chromey,” he said, “I STILL don’t know what to do with you.”
“Don’t overshoot your headlights,” I said.
“What?”
“Don’t overshoot your headlights.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’ll explain it later,” [...]

1:43 am, 11.Jul.03 · 15 Comments

i was driving home from a night on the bluffs. it’s a bit chilly, and i had ruby’s driver-side window all the way down. i was doing 65 in a 45 on 35E just past 7th, and i heard that jangly opening bit of “I Will Dare” that i love so goddamn much float out [...]

9:44 pm, 23.Apr.03 · 8 Comments

Scott claims to not know who westerberg is. surely it’s a joke.
for the uneducated heathens (not be confused with my uncouth heathen), paul westerberg was the genius behind the replacements. st. paul (as i often refer to him which is just plain funny because you know, he lives in minnesota and all). he’s a [...]

11:40 pm, 11.Mar.03 · 4 Comments

women who are mothers claim the pain of childbirth is quickly forgotten. perhaps it’s only forgotten because it’s overshadowed by the joy of having a new baby. i’m not buying the forgetting pain crap. perhaps it’s just a myth handed down from woman to woman in an effort to perpetuate the species.
i remember pain. i [...]

1:25 pm, 26.Dec.02 · 59 Comments

I am a fat girl.
It began right when I burst onto the scene, 29 years ago weighing in at over 9 pounds. My mom, to my horror, is quite fond of telling the story of how when she first laid eyes on me she said, “my god, she’s a moose.” it’s been downhill since then.
Being [...]

1:51 pm, 18.Aug.02 · Comments Off

Sister #2 called me Friday night asking if I would baby-sit the kidlings while she and her husband, Stink, went out for coffee with some friends. Being a single, independent, hip woman of the world, I was ready to shout ‘No,’ with much indignation.
How dare she call on a Friday and assume I had no [...]

10:36 pm, 15.Jul.02 · 7 Comments

sometimes when i am extra lonely, i will line up all the spare pillows on your side of the bed and pretend there’s someone there.
i call it your side of the bed, even though there is no one to claim it. it’s just not my side of bed. usually i sleep on my side of [...]