Bananas, the fruit. I can’t get enough of them and whenever I eat them I think of the main character in The Hotel New Hampshire whose name I cannot remember who eats bananas and runs all the damn time because he wants to be a good wrestler. He does this because the grandpa tells him [...]

1. Have lunch plans with your charmingly-weird friend Denver
2. Sit outside in the glorious Minnesota spring sunshine where you talk about writing and software and music
3. Drive home with the wind in your hair listening to Hall & Oates “Kiss on My List” on the radio so loud that you can feel the bass coming [...]

Song currently stuck on repeat, you ask. Why it’s “Rich Girl’ by Hall & Oates.

Music Geeks, the Argument: A Play in One Act by Jodichromeysupergenius
INT. DARK BAR — NIGHT
A group of eight people, five men, three women sit on plastic chairs in a secluded area of a divey kind of bar. They are seated around two formica tables that have been pushed together. One row of people sit with [...]

For those of you already worrying about Operation Maneater’s success, have no fear there is a plan. First of all, I’m calling it Operation Maneater because “Maneater” is my favorite Hall & Oates song and has nothing to do with the love of money or being tamed by the purr of a Jaguar. However, I [...]

Rich Girl, Hall & Oates
The theme to The Office
Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games, Of Montreal (only it’s really the version in that shitty Outback commercial
The Last to Know, Del Amitri

1. I feel as though Wonder Woman’s shapely thighs and ample bosom is mocking me. I flipped the calendar today and this month’s superhero art has this caption: “The Amazon Princess breaks up a terrorist junta in the opening scene from Wonder Woman: Spirit of Truth, a graphic album written by Paul Dini. Instead it [...]

i am listening to Hall & Oates’ “Maneater” without the slightest bit of irony.
also, i am not wearing socks.

so today i have to write the newsletter. i have to write the newsletter every month. it goes out to about eleventeen billion people and they love it. all of them. i know this, because i get to read all the fanmail the newsletter gets (which is one of my favorite parts of my job). [...]

1. spend an hour illegally downloading Hall & Oates songs
2. decide that you simply cannot write until you have salad dressing in the house
3. fall asleep listening to car talk
4. babysit Jaycie and Max
. force kidlings into slave labor in a pathetic attempt to clean the house
6. feel guilty, give kids $2 for their [...]

much like Mr. T, sometimes i pity the fools who only ‘know’ me through iwilldare.com. i have a million stories i would like to share, but they are not my stories to tell. they are stories that can only be conveyed with direct eye contact, body language, and bold proclamation of ‘don’t tell anybody.’
but [...]