Dear American Whiners,
Yes, what Rep. Joe Wilson of South Carolina did tonight during President Obama’s address to Congress was juvenile. Any adult shouting out the equivalent of liar, liar pants on fire is juvenile no matter where or when it happens. I’m sure the fact that it happened on national televison makes it seem worse.
However, [...]
Posts Tagged: letters
9
Sep 09
An open letter to the people who have forgotten what our country is all about
15
Jun 09
The disorder that dare not speak its name
Dear 6 a.m.
I have written many letters to your slutty younger sister 6:30 a.m. about how much I detest her. I didn’t think it was possible, but I think I like you even less. For as long as I can remember (which is probably like three or four days) you have been messing with my [...]
5
Feb 09
An open letter to 6:30 a.m.
Dear 6:30 a.m.,
If you don’t knock it off soon, I am going to have you arrested. I have kindly asked you to fuck off before, and you did not listen. You know, 6:30 a.m. I was just starting to groove on 7 a.m. (even though my heart still belongs to 7:30) and then you came [...]
24
Oct 08
Dear Everybody
Dear Authors,
Listen to me. If you were smart you would write interesting Largehearted Boy Book Notes essays about your book and include good music. I cannot count how many books I have read because of the author’s Book Notes essay. Wait. I will count a few just so you know how many I’m talking [...]
16
May 08
Not so charming man
Dear Morrissey,
I have decided that I am making it my life’s mission to insure that you never, ever get what you want this time or anytime. This is a light that should have gone out. I don’t even like you and here you are in my head for the last two or three days. [...]
12
May 08
An open letter to the citizens of the Internet, just say no to douche
Dear People of the Internet,
Hi, how are you? Things are going pretty well here at Supergenius HQ. I spent a lot of time working on a writing project, it involved notecards and the sinking suspicion that I had lost one of my stories. No worries though, I found it.
Anyway People of the Internet, I [...]
24
Apr 08
Save me
Dear God/Goddess/Higher Power/Holder of the Infinite Wisdom,
Not only is it bad enough that I know that Kenny Loggins has a son, but now suddenly I care about him. What the hell is wrong with me? Please give me the power to learn to change the channel. My brain will thank you.
Love,
Jodi
15
Apr 08
an open letter to my stomch
Dear Stomach,
You are killing me. Seriously, knock it the fuck off. You’re a total buzzkill.
Love,
Jodi
24
Dec 07
7 Ages of Rock
Dear VH1 Classics,
I would just like to thank you for airing all seven episodes of the 7 Ages of Rock today. This was easily the best thing that could have happened to me today. See, VH1 Classics, I had to clean the entirety of Supergenius HQ today because in roughly 18 hours my family is [...]
2
Dec 07
an open letter to iwilldare.com readers from 2002
Dear iwilldare.com readers from 2002,
I am sorry. All I ever wrote about was going to meetings. You should have punched me in the throat.
Please forgive me,
Jodi
12
Nov 07
The sister in the middle
Dear Nablmo,
I am totally back-dating this entry. It’s actually 12:40 and aside from talking about that Bob Dylan cover I did not blog today. Oh no! Surely the world will end.
But you know what Nablmo, I am sure you will understand. My family is in total chaos. There are two separate factions and I am [...]
6
Nov 07
Excuses, an open letter to Mike Doughty
Dear Mike Doughty,
I’m sorry. You probably noticed that the vibe was off at the Bryant Lake Bowl tonight. It’s because I was not there and you were missing my patented Make Sweet Sweet Love to Me Vibe™.
Sorry Mike, I didn’t mean to bail on you at the last minute. But, well, I’ve been sick since [...]
9
Oct 07
Letter to an Internet
Dear Internet,
What in the hell is my problem? I just got into an e-fight with someone I’ve never met over Apple computers. Now I’m so mad my heart is racing and I’m projectile crying because something has to shoot from my body because all the pent-up, steamy anger is going to make explode if something [...]
4
Oct 07
Letter from an insomniac
Dear Jodi,
It’s your fault, stupid. You were kind of cold and a little droopy-eyed and you wanted to be alert for tonight’s writing workshop. So what did you do? You ordered that cup of hot, delicious coffee before class.
COFFEE AT 4:30 P.M.? Are you new? Your battles with me, sleep, are legendary. Have you [...]
13
Jun 07
what are you listening to?
Dear World of Music Listeners,
What new music are you listening to that gets your heart all racy and your ears excited? My ears are bored with everything I like.
Thanks,
The Mgmt.
