passive-aggressive notes
Passive-aggressive notes (my favorite: that shit is disrespectful). [via]
Below you'll find all my writing tagged with the word letters. The posts are listed in chronological order. Click the post title to read more.
Passive-aggressive notes (my favorite: that shit is disrespectful). [via]
Dear 6:30 a.m., It’s not you, it’s me. I’m sorry 6:30 a.m. I know I must have looked quite delectable this morning with the nice buttery sheet wrapped around me, all peaceful and sleeping. The birds were chirping and the sky was overcast. And that gentle breeze coming through the open window? That was awesome. [...]
As I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, toothbrush in hand, I started thinking about my 17-year-old self. Actually before that, I was thinking about Sister #2′s 17-year-old self. Sister #2 used to be a punk-rock girl with a shaved head and skatepunk boyfriend. She generally eschewed anything ‘mainstream’ or with the air of [...]
Dear World, When you say, “Gee you look tired.” That is not what I hear. What I hear is: “You look like so much stink that I can actually see the stink lines emanating from your stinky, stinky body. You are not pretty. In fact you are generally ugly and you should try to get [...]
Dear World, American Idol blows, even when it’s in Minneapolis. Shut up about it already. They can all bite me. kisskiss, Jodi
Dear Vodo, Sometimes I feel bad for giving you so much shit Vodo, darling. Every once in awhile, I think that maybe I should let up on what a horrible teacher you are and how you pull my hair and make me cry. But I don’t ever want to be one of your doe-eyed sycophants. [...]
Dear Bloggers, Blobbers, and NaNos of the World, Enough. Enough with the NaNoWriMo bullshit. Please. I beg you. Nobody cares about the shitty novel you’re cranking out in November. Not even your mom. She might pretend that she cares, but she doesn’t. I know this comes off as super snotty and bitchy, but well, I’m [...]
Dear Everyone who knows I’m a Copywriter I’ve seen Enter the Copywriter. No need to send me the link. Love you lots, Jodi
Dear Summer, I am so over you. It has come to my attention that I haven’t had a memorable, kick-ass summer since 2003. That’s inexcusable. Summer, I am not sure if it’s you or me. But clearly we have a problem. Summer you used to hold such promise — long days, nice weather, fruity drinks [...]
Dear Stella Artois, I just want to thank you for capping off this perfectly perfect Saturday. Thanks to you I am pleasantly buzzed and wonderfully satisfied. See, Stella, this was the very first Saturday I had in Supergenius Headquarters all to myself. Nobody stopped by to bug me, I didn’t paint anything, i just cleaned [...]
Dear Men of the World (and some women too), I just wanted to give you advanced notice that from right now until Saturday, May 6, 2006 (a mere month before 06.06.06 which is my birthday) I will be practicing my ‘make sweet, sweet love to me vibes.’ These vibes are known to be quite potent [...]
Dear Slayer, I, jodichromeysupergenius aka jodi, queen of the underground would like to extend this formal invitation to you and your cohorts and your fans and people of your ilk to kiss my ass. Nice try. If you think you are stealing 06.06.06 from me, you’ve got another thing coming. I totally called dibs on [...]
dear chicago, i used to have a big giant crush on you. i really really did. not only did i have one of the best times of my entire life there within in the confines of your borders, but you are also the home to such awesome things as liz phair, jeff tweedy, andrew bird, [...]
dear Carl, i was just listening to “Letter from an Occupant” for about the 39,921st time in the last little while here. today instead of making it shake my ass, it instead nearly made me cry. first before you get all uppity with me, i know that it’s all about Neko on that one, but [...]
dear amy my beloved keepin’ tabs calendar is now properly adorned with the 89.3 sticker you sent. and, so you know, it was a bizarre sticker/window cling 1-2 combination.