Entries Tagged as 'Loneliness'
Simon & Garfunkel were probably writing about this place
Sometimes, on Sunday afternoons, it gets so quiet in here the only thing that can be heard is the fizz and pop of the bubbles in the Diet Coke and the ceiling fan. That’s only until the Diet Coke goes flat, then it’s just the ceiling fan and the blood pulsing though my fingers.
It’s [...]
Sometimes the fates give you exactly what you need
For the past week or so someone has been doing some in-depth research here on iwilldare.com about the TTHM. I don’t know who it is. It’s been fascinating watching the mystery searcher plunder through seven years of archives.
The mystery searcher is not the legendary TTHM. I asked him. This has, of course made the [...]
The one where I convince myself not once, but twice that someone is in my bed
I’m on the verge of becoming one of those people who apologize for not writing and bitch about having nothing to say. Yeah, I hate those people.
But instead of that, I will tell you about how I scared the shit out of myself last night. I was stumbling up to bed at about 11:30, [...]
Steeped in melancholy
It seems as though I woke up on the melancholy side of the bed this morning. Last night I had a dream about Ben Jones, a boy I loved in college. The dream was so fun and full of that special chemistry that makes you feel hopeful and alive that I was saddened to be [...]
Read moreI can’t take my mind off of you
Much to my dismay, I have found myself thinking about him a lot lately. It’s the time of the year. He comes back to haunt me in June and July.
His name was Jason and while we never dated, we were sexy friends. I guess that’s the step that comes before friends with benefits, or [...]
Writings or statements of questionable authorship or authenticity
Having reached the nadir of my despair when my most-lusted after Sam was kicked off of Top Chef last night, I climbed the stairs to bed swearing to myself tomorrow would be another day. I thought about crying myself to sleep, but I didn’t really have anything to cry about. And, well, crying from lonesomeness [...]
Read moreThe tale of the treacherous socks
They were his socks. I knew that when I put them on yesterday. I would never buy black socks. But they were the only clean ones that I could find. I’ve worn the socks dozens of times since he left him at my place all those Julys ago.
But yesterday was the first time I [...]
Googling under the influence of slow, sappy Wilco songs can be hazardous to your mental health
There comes a time in the night after being awake for so many hours (insomnia can suck my left one) when your computer should just automatically turn off because nothing good could come from anything that you’re gonna do. Nothing.
For some reason I decided at about midnight it would be a good idea to Google [...]
Delete all
There is a large, hard-to-suppress part of me that wants to delete every single thing I’ve ever written on iwilldare.com and start fresh. Going through the past 6.5 years of my life tends to do that to me (really only 3, since I’m at October 2003 now). I’ve been combing the iwilldare.com archives for the [...]
Read moreExcuse me while I break my own heart tonight
On bottles of some pills you see the ‘Do not take with alcohol’ or ‘be careful driving and shit when you take these pills’ warning. You always see things like TV-MA, this show is intended for mature audiences only, or something like that on shows like Law & Order.
There should be the same kinds [...]
Hopes dashed on the rocks of Spam
So I had a bad day. It started bad right away and it managed to stay a consistent level of shitty throughout. Even now it’s shitty, because I have that stupid bad day song stuck in my head. Thank you singer of shitty bad day song, I really needed that.
This bad day has been [...]
And me and my anger sit, folding a paper bird
As I mentioned over on Vox earlier, I woke up in the mood for The Weakerthans, and have spent a majority of my day listening to them. Specifically, “My Favourite Chords.” It’s matching my mood quite well. And my mood? My mood you ask?
Well that would have to be totally fried with a good bit [...]
There’s still a little bit of your words I long to hear
Maybe it was the way the covers fell across my body, or perhaps it was the way my hand was tucked under my head. As I closed my eyes tonight, the image was there and so real that by the time I rolled over to try to erase the memory from my head I knew [...]
Read moreOn Crackpot Theories, Kelly’s birthday, and being unmarried at 34
Today is my friend Kelly’s 30th birthday. I envy her the magic of turning 30. Without a doubt, my 30s have been the best decade of my life. Of course, when I was in my 20s I probably would have said the same thing. But when I look back I realize I was entirely [...]
Read moreI do not dare journey there, when I do I have found no means of escape
Ray and I were in Ruby heading back to Sister #2’s house, when he reached over and grabbed Kathleen Turner Overdrive from the cupholder between our seats.
“Here’s a song I just need to hear,” he said.
“What?” I asked.
“You’ll see.” His non-iPod-owning fingers fumbled around the dials. “Okay, okay. Here it is.”
I held my breath, eager [...]
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