this is why i don’t do the whole cosmetics thing. . . because it sounds like a really good idea when you’re look at all those cute little jars of good-smelling potions. but when it comes times to apply the crap, well it just stinks. right now my face smells a little like stale rotten [...]

i went medieval on poor jeff. from my comment:
ok, you can wear whatever you like to work, but you can only earn 70 cents to every dollar i earn. does that sound like a deal?
you can also wear the comfortable panty hose, the bra, the thong and you can apply weird chemicals to your face [...]

Tuesday was quite possibly the worst Tuesday in the history of Tuesdays. It was my last day of work for six days and you’d think that all productivity in softwareland was going to come to crumbling halt in my absence. I was busy and stretched to my limit. So when one of the techwriters moseyed [...]

ok men, listen up. you, you, you and you in the back, yes you too, i’m going to toss you all off a fucking bridge. you, you’re safe because you make my tummy do flipflops and you make my knees weak. but the rest of you, i hope you can swim. i don’t want [...]

me: you know you’re my favorite waste of time, don’t you?
him: stop, you’re making me blush. . . i like that. i am going to use it sometime.
me: you can’t steal my good lines. that sucks ass. if i ever hear of you using one of my lines to pick up some pathetic girlie, i [...]