You would think that if they were getting straight As they’d know the damn difference between loose and lose. GAH!

The Evil Munchkin approached my desk. “You never responded to my e-mail.” (evidence that I am nearly the worst e-mail responder of all time)
“I’m sorry, I can’t talk about NaNoWriMo,” I said. “It pisses me off.”
“What? Are you offended that I’m doing it?”
“No,” I said, all weary. “I just think it’s bullshit.”
I then went in [...]

Going back to work after having a week off blows. Hard.
After reading The Gum Thief I have convinced myself that I have spleen problems.
I am not sure where a spleen is located but I have decided mine is about five inches under my left breast.
Al, the cutest girl on earth™, is going to have a [...]

OH MY GOD. I am so angry and so frustrated. I’ve had the worst day. A day so rotten and intolerable that not even new shoes and 3 episodes of Dawson’s Creek have helped.
I’ve written about my rage-inducing incident about 39 times, hoping it would make me feel better. But I am still angry. I’ve [...]

The force of my pre-menstrual rage could burn holes through walls and rend the flesh from your body. This morning I yelled at Madison, Mick Jagger’s voice, and stomped my feet like a petulant brat because my favorite hair-dryer is broken and I don’t like the back-up.
My unwarranted rage has no direction and is looking [...]

today started out with me raging against the machine and has ended with me just feeling generally miserable and bad about myself.
so i’m just gonna vent, because i need to vent. i know i’m a selfish, uncaring wench, but well, there is no excuse.
sister #4 found out today that she was unceremoniously uninvited to [...]

i am pissed off and crabby. sitting here sick at work is not my idea of fun. not at all. but that’s not what’s making me pissed off and crabby. oh no! what’s making me pissed off and crabby is that i’m waiting for a call from a coworker so i can finish up a [...]

a little over a year ago i wrote a piece on bittersweetheart about being an ugly 8th grader. the whole thing was inspired by reading Lucy Grealy’s Autobiography of a Face. on bittersweetheart i talked about a boy who teased me mercilessly in junior high.
here’s where it gets all tv movie like.
earlier today a woman [...]

so kappa walked into work a little late, he had to go to his daughter’s school and read to them. he read a book called The Little Tailor and then he told us about how he told the kids one of his own fairy tales called “King Bear.” kappa told us how when he goes [...]

oh my god am i crabby as fuck today. no matter what i think about or listen to, i can’t seem to life the scowl from my face. i want to sneer at everyone i come across. biting seems like an appropriate response that would make me feel better, but i’m afriad of lawsuits. bitchy [...]

i just went from zero to superbitchy in like 45 seconds. i’m not kidding. it was probably the weirdest thing i’ve ever felt in my own psyche. i was just sitting here minding my own business, looking at some award-winning ad campaigns on the web and then KAPOW! superbitch took over. i was listening as [...]

i am so incredibly grumpy today that i have decided to not speak. it’s better for everyone involved. it will take an act of congress, divine intervention, and a call from jason lee to make me smile today.

dear very smart beautiful cousin whom i love,
i think you might want to check your calendar. despite what the lovely foward that you so lovingly forwarded to me states, i’m pretty sure that today is NOT International Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman’s Day.
why? because according to my records International Very Good Looking, Damn [...]

darling ones, clearly you are flooding my inbox with valentine’s greetings and schmoopy sentiments of schmoopiness to make my valentine’s day so damn special. at least that’s the only reason i can think of that is making gmail be such a slutty bitch when i need her the most.

sometimes i forget that some people that i might not really know, but who are involved with the people in my life may be reading iwilldare.com. so, masked in my veil of “anonymity” i wrote about a mean sister. i used my writerly hyperbole based on the judgments and situations of another to dub [...]