earlier this week The Complete Calvin and Hobbes was FINALLY released. i’ve had this on my amazon to-buy list for months. i love Calvin and Hobbes with a passion that could border on creepy if i wasn’t so easily distracted. whenever i’m feeling really down my favorite thing to do is strip down to my [...]

so yeah, back at work. yay! (if you can’t smell the sarcasm coming off that last one, then well, you should get your nose checked). one good thing? my commute has been cut in half. you know what that means? more sleep in the morning.
another good thing? i practiced last night. orgasms are a glorious [...]

last week i was chatting with the Uncouth Heathen (UH) about who knows what, when he asked me about my superman tattoo (i am sure he can dig up the link to the photo, i can’t remember what it is).
“what on earth made you get a superman tattoo there?” he asked.
“what?” i asked.
“i just imagine [...]

bored and petulant is not a good way to spend the afternoon. clearly, i am only happy when the roof is on fire. because when i only have one or two tasks to complete at work i get all pouty and whiny and bored.
it doesn’t help that the hormonal harbinger of hell has arrived in [...]

pity the neighbors. i’m sitting on the couch listening to Roland II and belting out St. Paul Westerberg’s “Born for Me” as if my life depended on it. i can’t resist singing the part that goes:
i can’t bear to, try and share you . . .when you forget me, then you late me, fade away, [...]

tonight after practicing, something that will surely make me go blind, i got thinking. this a bad thing. after practice one should just roll over and go to sleep, one should not think. thinking just gets everyone into trouble. but tonight the thinking invaded before the sleep could come.
i was thinking about the number of [...]

laziness is definitely my strong suit, but today, today i was so lazy that i feel a little ashamed. here was my schedule.
9:30 - 10:30: wake up, check e-mail, listen to NPR
10:30 - 11:30: lay in bed reading john irving, practice
11:30 - 12:30: check e-mail, read ask metafilter, eat lunch, fill out new calendar
12:30 - [...]

driving home from work, i was so engrossed in a particularly vivid sex fantasy that i totally missed my turn and ended up in a heretofore unknown part of bloomington. and the only thing that can harsh the buzz of a particularly vivid sex fantasy is being trapped inside of bloomington in rush hour. if [...]

believe it or not, i’m not talking about masturbation. no instead i’m talking about my absolute brand-new favorite thing to do (and i say this like i do it all the time but i don’t (again not talking about masturabtion because i totally do that all the time), in fact i just discovered about 10 [...]

seriously, guess what?
i have nothing to do tonight but write, sit on the couch in my underpants, practice and read the new issue of the believer that i got in the mail.
who wants to come over?

after work i thought it would be a good idea to catch up on my usual sunday activities: reading, masturbating, and napping. i just had a slew of weird dreams.
first i dreamt i was out to dinner with jake and some generic, dark-haired geek girl. we were sitting in the booth, geek girl and i [...]

i think we should petition congress to pass a bill that states it cannot be monday until every man, woman and child has had enough time in the weekend to read for two hours and masturbate three times.

i wish there was someone here that i could make smell my fingers (no not because i’ve been defiling my body) because they reek! i’ve washed my hands about 73 times and i still can’t get the oniony garlic smell out.

thou shalt not type after having an orgasm.
that’s like the fifth commandment of the jodiverse and here i am breaking it. i had full intentions of reading one more short story, masturbating and then falling asleep in with that wonderful sated feeling fantasizing about a man who would hold me and say, “your post-orgasm vulnerability [...]

my best intentions were waylaid by a pair of C batteries. see, i was doing really good. i cleaned my entire bedroom, that even includes putting clean underpants in the dresser and dirty underpants in a hamper.
i vaccuumed, i took out garbage, i ran the dishwasher– but still there is more to do.
however, i didn’t [...]