Below you'll find all my writing tagged with the word weirdo. The posts are listed in chronological order. Click the post title to read more.
1. The Clean Freak Supergenius HQ is dusty and full of cat hair. So much of it, in fact, that it looks like my entire house is in some sort of hazy soft focus. If I were to take a picture you’d think the place was lit with the same kind of lighting they use [...]
Hi. I have a short story due (for the class that I love so much that if I had a penis I would sport wood from 6-8 every Wednesday) this week, which makes this an official Go Fuck Yourself (GFY) week. Yay! GFY week started a few years ago when I was cranky and stressed [...]
Every Wednesday night during the summer, I like to sit in my La-Z-Grrl, watch TV, and cry. Wednesday is So You Think You Can Dance night. While NYC Prep might be a guilty pleasure, SYTYCD is nothing but pure joy. For the uninitiated it’s an American Idolesque show with dancing, and it is amazing. I’ve [...]
Sometimes when I am idly surfing the web or pondering the next sentence to write and Liz Phair or Lucinda Williams shuffles up on Evangeline I start arguing with myself. It usually goes like this. “If I could be any rockstar on the planet, I would totally be Lucinda Williams,” I say. “Right on, right [...]
For the few weeks or so I’ve been listening to Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice when I wake up in the morning and before I go to bed at night. It’s a nice way to bookend the day, plus it gives me a chance to catch up on the backlog of audiobooks that I downloaded [...]
When I was a kid I was something of a sticker collector. It was a required activity for all girls who attended University Avenue Elementary School in Blaine. I was a big fan of Lisa Frank and anything that might have included a glittering unicorn. While many of the girls in Mr. Naegle’s 5th grade [...]
Here is an e-mail I sent to Christa last night: I had a dream about you last night. All I remember is that for some reason you and I had discovered Rex Sorgatz’s notebook. We took it to my parents’ house and hid it. Then you and Barrett went to the grocery store to stock [...]
I will not tell you how much time I spent chatting with Wolfdogg this morning about computer names. I will also not tell you how many times I said fuck, fuck, motherfuckfuck while trying to get Gideon to connect to Phinneaus, my wireless network. Let me tell you this, the new Macbook might be slick [...]
A few weeks ago I talked about cutting back on my cable bill. When I made the cut I thought I’d just be cutting back on the Dawson’s Creek but I was wrong. I was cutting it out completely. Ouch. There are no words to describe this hole in my life, no, in my very [...]
It sounded like a very large creature wheezing its last breaths, rather loudly, somewhere in the vicinity of my bedroom. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it made me sit bolt upright in bed, wide awake in terror. I groped around for my glasses so I could hear the monster better and figure out [...]
My first mistake was sitting down this afternoon with volumes one through four of Y the Last Man. I did not move until my stomach started to rumble at six o’clock. I tore through three of the four books. This wouldn’t be such a bad thing if I hadn’t spent half of Friday and half [...]
My interest in politics started at the tender ago of eight, brought about by the Harbinger of Doom who wore pink ribbons in her blonde pigtails. In 1980 I was in Mrs. Clark’s third grade class at University Avenue elementary in Coon Rapids, Minnesota. So was Kari Christ, aka the Harbinger of Doom. I don’t [...]
When I was younger and had to clean my room I would fold my arms and blink like Jeannie hoping my room would be cleaned through genie-like magic. When that didn’t work, I’d try the Samantha nose-wiggle. When that didn’t work, I’d get yelled at for sitting around when I was supposed to be cleaning [...]
First of all, I found Eurydice, my iPod, in the Kleenex box. My passport drive and USB jump drive were in there too. I was puzzled for about sixty-seven seconds when I remembered that some creepy white minivan piloted by a cigarette smoking man, drove up and down my “street” the other night. I don’t [...]
When we last off I was my own nagging spouse, and now a list of things I would totally give myself head for if I were my own nagging spouse: Making sure the washer, dryer, and dishwasher are empty waiting for their next load of things to do Chopping up all the vegetables as soon [...]
MN Reads PW.net
