the random pill that i took from my desk and swallowed as quelled the rebel escape brewing in my skull. i’m not much of a pill popper, but sometimes i just want to stand-up and give modern medicine a big round of applause. now i can get back to what i do best, listening [...]

i could really use some cheering up here gang. maybe someone to make me feel special and/or important and/or that i matter just the littlest bit.

my god am i fucking miserable tonight. completely, totally, insanely miserable. every deep dark thought has come out to play tonight - my unhappiness with my job, my insecurity about my writing, my loneliness. it’s all here tonight and it’s not any fun. at least i know and i do know that this all just [...]

here’s something that will help the rage that is hormonal. turn on some soft music that you know by heart. in my case it’s paul westerberg, for you it might something lamer like, oh i don’t know, wham!. then start doing some really very mindless work work. i’ve been so lost in writing this tutorial [...]

since my hormones were filled with rage and my badittude wasn’t helping matters at all, i decided it would be a good idea to work from home this afternoon. now, here in my humble abode, i can suffer alone. which isn’t good because i feel lonely and yet anti-social at the same time. it’s like [...]

i feel a little like i got hit by the hormonal train. i’m angry, bored, restless, and all those other intangible emotions you can never quite explain but feel nonetheless. it doesn’t help that the workplace has slowed down for the time being, making me angrier and more bored than i should be. but, really, [...]

there are days when i get lost in my head. it makes me appear sad to the outside world, even though i am not sad. i am just lost in my head tumbling about with the rambling ideas that can’t quite seem to make their way from my brain to my fingers.
though i am quieter [...]

i sobbed all the way home from work tonight. giant, breath-gulping, tear streaming sobs. the stress at work is only exacerbated by my lack of sleep, leaving me emotionally unequipped to deal with setbacks. and today, there was a giant setback. but i’ll recover, i always do. i’m nothing if not resilient. i just have [...]

i refused to believe that there was no ice cream in the freezer. i just couldn’t accept that i had been so irresponsible. really, it’s sunday. what kind of adult does not make sure the freezer is properly stocked with ice cream on a sunday? while i sat here working (yes, actually working and not [...]

sometimes life becomes a little too adult for me. the work stress, the responsibilities, the need to be nonanti-social– sometimes, like today, it’s just entirely more than i can deal with. maybe it’s because i spent most of the weekend working. maybe it’s because lately my time has been everyone’s but mine. maybe it’s because [...]

i’m like those big, sad-eyed wan looking precious moments dolls, all fragile and racked with some sort of sickly disease that makes my body shake with the power of my own coughing. i thought i was getting over the cold, but no, no, no i think that was just the preview of the big show. [...]

i must have that nervous breakdown look on my face. three people have come up to me today and say that i “look tired.” this is odd because i got like 8 hours of sleep in a row last night. of course, we all know that “look tired” is just code for “look like utter [...]

i somehow managed to burn the roof of my mouth. at least i think it’s a burn, though i don’t remember the burning, but it feels a little like i ate 49 bowls of cap’n crunch and i know i haven’t done that. the tenderness of my mouth has made eating peanut m&ms for breakfast [...]

i’ve been so fucking busy lately that i totally forgot to wax psychotic during my current bout with PMS. there was a small pity party thrown in my honor sometime late saturday evening, so i went and rented “Sex in the City” season 6 part 1 and ate ice cream. it was a lot of [...]

where in the hell did everybody go? FFJ MIA. TTHM MIA. DarlingJason MIA.
i’m beginning to feel like i stink and i even showered this morning since i have class tonight with sweet rob and the gang.