Sometimes I wish I was the kind of person who could just post a cryptic song lyric and the emoticon for puzzled and call it a day. But I can never seem to do that when there are all those words out there that I can use. If I were that kind of person I would post something like:
Dear employer, you commanded me
Your commendations now don’t mean as much
‘Cause I’m a lost cause, causing a problem
And I promise to be way out of touch
And the right here would be that smiley face with the question mark hair. You know what I’m talking about.
I got a big fat double F minus in Job Hunting 104 today. I did not do any of my “action items.” I forgot my resume, I didn’t join linked in, and there was another thing that I forgot to do and I can’t remember what that was. My boss and co-workers don’t seem to be as keen on the “why don’t you all find jobs and then hire me” plan as I am. When asked about my tasks, I went into a brief and ill advised diatribe about how spending the weekend reading Then We Came to the End is going to make me a more valuable employee. Nobody bought it. I would think that quick-thinking and well-read writers would be in high demand. Because, you know, there are so few of them.
Maria tells me that it’s okay, still. She’s the nurturing one. She reads the terror on my face and immediately goes into mothering mode. She tells me that I have until January to figure out what it is I want to do with my future. Jayto is the ass-kicking one and she tells me to get my damn resume in order so they can go through it and make it stronger so that I can have a job that doesn’t involve checking the IDs of teenagers who want some Camel Lights.
I need both of them. When I can put my fright aside long enough to think clearly, I want to weep with gratitude that I am losing my job with these people.